ship log 003 [video/action for the kitchen]

[justguidelines]

[So, uh. This cooking thing.

But do you see that? The view's a little shaky at first, because he's still getting the hang of this technology thing, but there, for your viewing delight, Wonderland, is a microwave.

Well.

It used to be a microwave.

What it is now is more a column of smoke and melted plastic and burnt things, with the coppery shine of burnt tinfoil.

Oh, and the door's off to one side, and it shouldn't be twisted like that.

And yes, he actually read the instructions. And no, they didn't make a damn bit of sense.]

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I'm fairly sure that's not what it's supposed to do when it's done.

Comments

[Text]

[kunsel]

I have never ever, not even once, seen someone
fail so miserably at microwaving something in my
life. Nice job.
Don't the closets supply food and such? Maybe
you should have tried for something that didn't
need cooking. Or was already cooked for you.

[Text]

[justguidelines]

[It takes a while for a reply because not being able to write stuff down normally is hard, okay.]

Considering such Objects as this do not exist in my Where and When, I will kindly thank You to keep your blathering and unhelpful Thoughts to Yourself.

[Text]

[kunsel]

Well, what did you expect would happen if you
suddenly began tampering with something you
were unfamiliar with? Instant buffet? Not how
it works, man.
You really did a number on it, too. I... don't
think there's anything edible that you can
salvage from that wreck!

[Text]

[justguidelines]

Yes, thank You. I believe I might have that figured, if it is all the same to You.

Action

[eyecatching]

[ Lily had been on her way in to make some lunch when she stopped dead in her tracks at the sight of the damage.]

...Let me fix that and we'll um...get you something to eat.

Action

[justguidelines]

[Yes, thank you all. Really, one would think if there were people dragged from all wheres and whens, there would be a guide to explain such things in plain King's English, and not...Whatever that little booklet printed on the ridiculously white paper is.

But he just stares at the wreck of the microwave a bit longer before responding, not bothering to glance over his shoulder. Despite what anyone might think, he's not remotely embarrassed about the situation, but more annoyed. Food, after all, is somewhat of a touchy issue with him still. The ability to eat moreso.]

P'raps if there was a better way of understanding this nonsense- [He waves the little instruction booklet in annoyance.] -things of this nature might nary have happened, aye?

Re: Action

[eyecatching]

They can be complicated if you've never seen one before.

[ Lily had her wand luckily and the microwave was fixed with a word and a wave before she walked over to stand beside him.]

What were you trying to cook?

Video

[seekinghome]

Um, wow. I, uh, note to self: never mess with that thing or I might do that.

Video

[justguidelines]

Aye. And the strange little booklet that supposedly offers to teach a body how to use it be damned near worthless.

Re: Video

[seekinghome]

I've only been in the kitchen when I've wanted something that can be eaten cold because me and cooking that's more complicated that putting something on a stick and setting it over a campfire is... kind of a bad idea.

So I haven't bothered reading any instructions for anything.

[action] FINALLY I AM SO SORRY FOR BEING TERRIBLE PEOPLE HERE I AM TO BOTHER YOU

[nascensibility]

[Being one of those rare individuals trapped in Wonderland who happen to hail from a completely different time period than everybody else (while the Mansion makes very little effort to accomodate for those who come from an age that isn't "modern"), Evelyn can empathise with the desire to make a home-cooked meal and fail miserably in the process because she can't understand the bloody difference between Pure Convection and Convection Bake on the oven.

Today is, however, one of those days where she ventures into the land of cookery to attempt something that doesn't require so many dashed buttons and 'settings,' hence the surprised look on her face when she wanders into a smoking kitchen.]

...oh my word, what happened in here?

[action] /o/

[justguidelines]

[User error. User error is what happened.

And of course, Hector doesn't know about things like 'fire extinguishers' or 'vent fans' to clear out the smoke, though thankfully nothing's actually on fire. It just. Exploded, that's all.

No one told him tinfoil didn't belong in a microwave, did they? Of course not. And no one said he shouldn't set the timer as long as he had, either, but.

Well. Live and learn.

At the sound of the voice however, he only glances over his shoulder, wondering, exactly, how many times he's going to have to explain this mess.]

Apparently it had a disagreement with me choice of dinner.

[action]

[nascensibility]

[Coughing and waving a hand - there's an oh, for Heaven's sake in there somewhere - Evie squints through the remaining smoke, and her narration laughs maniacally because Barbossa is going to have to explain this mess multiple times today.]

Apparently,

[she agrees, surveying the debris with a critical eye.]

I don't suppose you-

[No, she thinks as she takes in his outfit, far more displaced from time than she - she doesn't suppose at all. Whoever he is, he's got a great deal of technological advancement to catch up on.

No hard feelings, old sport.]

...Hm. Perhaps the micro-whatsit isn't quite the way to go.

action; How have I not tagged you before /worst

[regretel]

[Ange has never actually used a microwave, but she at least recognizes what one is and has a decent idea of what its supposed to do.

Producing a column of smoke is not that thing.

She just wanted to make some tea (she doesn't trust the Mansion's pre-prepared tea from the tea rooms just yet) but apparently this needs to be addressed first.]

...What were you trying to do?

action; because Barbs is an ass and needs to shunned.

[justguidelines]

[She wanted tea, he wants dinner. Sometimes you just don't get what you want.

But, well, accidents do happen, and he's not going to feel the slightest bit ashamed at the mess, because honestly, how was he to know?

Which is why he simply bites the inside of his cheek before answering, still watching the smoke from the microwave.]

Make dinner. It seems me cooking skills have failed to approve since I last were forced to do so.

action; well, there is that.

[regretel]

[Ange sighs and looks around. It only takes her a moment to find a small fire extinguisher, which she turns on the whole mess. It wasn't exactly going up in flames, but at least it's not smoking anymore.]

If you don't know how to use something, shouldn't you stay away from it?

[not_apriest]

I suppose it's ambitious of you to try such devices...

[justguidelines]

Well, I'd prefer it over whatever magic provides otherwise.

[not_apriest]

You get used to the magical provisions after a while.

[video]

[thepointisdolphins]

[Deadpan,] Did you check the weight setting?

[video]

[justguidelines]

[A beat.] What weight setting.

[video]

[thepointisdolphins]

These things have a weight setting sometimes. Most microwave-related accidents are the result of not checking the weight setting before use.

action; i couldn't resist

[black_widow]

You're not supposed to put metal inside.

[Her tone's very direct and to the point, but with a hint of jesting. She steps forward, inspecting the smouldering piece of technology carefully.]

What did you put inside?

action; crying

[justguidelines]

Well, would have been useful to know before that happened, wouldn't it? [Damned useless manual. It says absolutely nothing about metal.] Not that I knew whatever that was really was metal. Certainly too flimsy.

[But seriously, don't get too close to see his fail, okay. He tried.] It said it was, of all things, chicken. Didn't appear to be any sort of chicken I've ever seen, but...Well. Beggars can't be choosers, aye?

action;

[black_widow]

Instructions manuals are clearly meant to confuse the user. [She says very matter-of-factly, eyes still looking over the wreckage that was the microwave.]

The trick is to heat it up for just a bit at a time. Patience is key.