Video

[thneedifestdestiny]

So uh. Question.

[The Once-ler coughs into his gloved hand and looks at the camera. He looks like he's trying very, very hard to be calm but is actually freaking out not very far under the surface.]

Anybody else get a whole bunch of their stuff stolen after that chess thing? Because I haven't seen any of my Thneed materials anywhere and it's been days and I'm pretty sure my no-good lousy nerd of a Mirror snatched them all.

...Unless anybody's seen them around? Anybody seen a bunch of fluffy Truffula tufts around? If so, uh. Let me know. Because that is my entire company right there, and I would really.

Really.

Appreciate. It.

Thanks.

[And he hangs up.

Comments

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[obligatorymerchant]

[ In his shop, Zacharie is laughing. (But why are you laughing when the Batter stole all your shit from your office and ruined your amusement park, Zacharie?) ]

Maybe they mistook it for free good. You know, like an item chest. Little rewards for a protagonist.

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[thneedifestdestiny]

Ha. As if. My high-quality Truffula tufts would never get mistaken for "free good"...s. Besides, that would still make them thieves.

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[obligatorymerchant]

You never know! You can get some high quality items for free with a little question. Of course, you may also die along the way, but such is life!

Have you considered hiring someone to investigate?

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[thneedifestdestiny]

That's stupid. And a terrible idea. Who would die for free stuff?!

[The Once-ler would, probably.]

Is there even anyone in Wonderland that does anything like that? Investigating, I mean.

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[obligatorymerchant]

People in dire circumstances without much money, those who are about to face down certain death and see such items as a glimmer of hope to coming out alive. Though I doubt your tree tufts would fit into the latter category.

[ oh snap son ]

Surely there's some law-obsessed or adventurous individuals that would take on the challenge. Of course you'd have to offer a substantial reward.

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[thneedifestdestiny]

If they were finished Thneeds they'd be in that category!

[Screw you Zacharie; his Thneeds are diamonds shining a warm and valuable light on your miserable existence.]

I don't have a substantial reward though - that's kind of the whole problem.