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[thneedifestdestiny]

So uh. Question.

[The Once-ler coughs into his gloved hand and looks at the camera. He looks like he's trying very, very hard to be calm but is actually freaking out not very far under the surface.]

Anybody else get a whole bunch of their stuff stolen after that chess thing? Because I haven't seen any of my Thneed materials anywhere and it's been days and I'm pretty sure my no-good lousy nerd of a Mirror snatched them all.

...Unless anybody's seen them around? Anybody seen a bunch of fluffy Truffula tufts around? If so, uh. Let me know. Because that is my entire company right there, and I would really.

Really.

Appreciate. It.

Thanks.

[And he hangs up.

Comments

[jolting]

[he hasn't really talked about it, but] Yes, a few things of mine are gone.

[thneedifestdestiny]

[The Once-ler takes this as a sign that he has someone he can complain with.]

Ugh, why do they think that just because some woman in a gaudy red dress said they could come hang out over here that it means they can just help themselves to all our stuff?

[jolting]

I suppose they think it's theirs anyway, since they are just Mirrors of us.

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[cheerleader]

[Longest, blankest stare ever. Slowly, her eyebrows arch, and she's left trying to figure out if this guy is joking or being serious.]

I don't know what fluffy Truffula tufts even look like. But I'll keep an eye out for them.

video

[thneedifestdestiny]

[Excuse you but this is the most serious the Once-ler has been in his entire life. ...Which isn't saying much.]

Oh! They're um...fluffy. And they look like cotton candy! They're softer than silk and smell like fresh butterfly milk.

[That's helpful, right?]

[video]

[claimyourself]

[What even...?]

Could you describe what those, umm, things look like? I'll keep an eye out for them.

[video]

[thneedifestdestiny]

Uh. They look like the tops of trees. You know, fluffy and cotton-candy-ish? And they come in all different bright colors!

[He pauses then.] Well. That's what trees look like where I'm from.

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[obligatorymerchant]

[ In his shop, Zacharie is laughing. (But why are you laughing when the Batter stole all your shit from your office and ruined your amusement park, Zacharie?) ]

Maybe they mistook it for free good. You know, like an item chest. Little rewards for a protagonist.

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[thneedifestdestiny]

Ha. As if. My high-quality Truffula tufts would never get mistaken for "free good"...s. Besides, that would still make them thieves.

[vlad_dracul]

Not that I know of, but I don't know what "truffula tufts" look like. What is a truffula?

[thneedifestdestiny]

It's a tree. It's a really tall really skinny tree with a soft tuft at the top. I had a bunch of the tufts in my room for making Thneeds, but they've all mysteriously gone missing.

[He says it the way a grumpy parent might say all of the cookies have mysteriously gone missing - he knows very well what must have happened to them. Or, well. He can't really know but he is content to blame his Mirror on all of it.]

video

[petabytes]

My mirror completely wrecked everything I owned... it took me a whole day to replace it all.

video

[thneedifestdestiny]

Wait, your stuff got wrecked? Seriously?

[The Once-ler looks legitimately shocked by that. His world has been shaken.]

Why would your Mirror wreck your things? I mean, you're...[He struggles to find a word for a second.] You're adorable! It's hard to picture anyone being angry enough at you to do something like that. It'd be like someone getting angry at a bunny.

[He means well, really.]

[audio]

[builditstrong]

Ain't seen any 'f...whatever y'just said, but I got some stuff stole as well.

[audio]

[thneedifestdestiny]

Yeah, it sounds like it happened to a whole bunch of people. I guess a lot of us have crooks for Mirrors...great. Awesome. That's what everyone needs. Lookalikes that steal their stuff.

[idolises]

Was that even English or are you making stuff up?

[thneedifestdestiny]

What? Excuse you, but that was obviously English. If anything wasn't clear at all it's because I am having the biggest business crisis of my entire life at the moment, thanks.

Video

[crybabybootleg]

[Thneed? Sounds like some kinda drugs. What a thing to get messed up in! But he's curious what's gone missing.]

What does a thneed material look like? Maybe he hid it in a cache somewheres- or I heard you can get some stuff from the closets?

Video

[thneedifestdestiny]

Do you have cotton candy wherever you're from? 'Cause they kind of looks like that. They're fluffy, and brightly-colored.

[He sighs though, at the mention of the closets.]

I wish it was that easy. The closets give us a lot of stuff, but if you try and ask for certain things it won't give them out. It does that to me whenever I get too specific about what I want.

So, I made an investment in my company and bought them from the vendors. And I really...really can't afford to do it again.

video;

[hypercompetent]

I have no idea what a Truffula tuft is, but someone wrecked my game room, and I'm getting the feeling I know exactly who it was.

You're running a business venture. [ Stiles raises his eyebrows at the feed for a minute. Did you order some sassy teenager today, Onceler? Sorry man. ] In Wonderland.

video;

[thneedifestdestiny]

Yes. Yes, I am. If I have to be stuck in this dumb place, I might as well establish an inter-dimensional Wonderland branch of Thneed Co. while I'm here.

[DRAMATIC SIGH.]

But whatever. I wouldn't expect a kid like you to understand. Go tinker with your tinker-toys or something.

[He pauses, remembering the first half of what Stiles said.] ...You know. Assuming your Mirror didn't wreck them.

[vitalityaura]

Haven't seen anything like that. [shrug]

Maybe your mirror realized how ugly your sweaters are and did us all a favour?

[thneedifestdestiny]

Ha. Ha. No. Maybe he got jealous he didn't have any and decided he needed them all. ...And that he didn't need to pay for them. Jerk.

Whatever, just keep an eye out for them, okay? That's kind of my whole business right there.

[video forever]

[speaksforthetrees]

Eugh, that guy? I don't know if I'd call him a nerd, exactly. Just kinda rude.

You got them from the vendors, right?

[video forever]

[thneedifestdestiny]

He's definitely rude, since he's apparently running around stealing my stuff. ...Wait, does that mean you've actually met him?

And...yeah, something like that. [Somehow, he doesn't feel as good about it as he did the first time he bought them.]