[video] once there was a way to get back homeward

[nascensibility]

[It wasn't enough, she thinks, to lose so much back home that she had to return here to another loss she was only just rebuilding. It wasn't enough to take away, it wasn't enough to really hurt, no, to quietly return to a familiar room, empty with its vast walls and dark corners. Slowly she filled it again, odds and ends of furniture and the trappings of a home to which she can never return.

She has a reputation to uphold even in spite of the circumstances, better to nurse the greatest wound out of the public eye, a garish scar across her stomach. Evelyn could swear the blade reached her heart.

The exhaustion nestles deep into her bones, a palpable chill that reminds her what she is.

What she isn't.]

I've been informed I was away for a little while, [she addresses the network, unable to muster more than a tired smile.] Perhaps someone might catch me up. I'll be-

[For a moment Evelyn appears distracted, hand gravitating toward her waist.]

I'll be in the library. I've also got several, erm, dogs that need homes. Please let me know if you're interested.



Private to Philip, 11:31 AM
I’m back. May I come and see you? It's important.
-E

Comments

ACTION

[krmvgivv]

[Dipper hasn't felt much like talking on the network, lately. Dying kind of wrecked his mood for some reason. But he missed Evie while she was gone--or at least, he's pretty sure he would have if he wasn't distracted by all the zombies and dying--and anyway, he had promised he'd tell her about his secret codes. That's the only reason he wants to go find her, of course. It definitely doesn't have to do with the fact that he's feeling pretty traumatized and she's someone he might be able to talk to. He can't talk to Mabel about it--she's as upset as he is and he doesn't want to make it worse. He definitely can't talk to Grunkle Stan about it. While he'd probably be willing, he's also the one who killed Dipper, and it's not that Dipper holds a grudge--he knows it was the right thing to do, knows it was just as hard for Grunkle Stan as it was for Dipper, maybe harder, and that it was an act of love, but it's still... hard for Dipper to want to talk to him about it. But he doesn't need to talk about it! He's fine now. Everything's fine.

He pulls the journal from the shelf he's been keeping it (no point carrying it around when it's so completely useless here) and tucks it back into its usual place inside his vest, squirming at how he already feels more comfortable with it there. No reason to feel more comfortable when it can't actually help him. It's just a security blanket and he's too old for those. He heads to the library, poking through the stacks until he finds her.]

You missed zombies. They were pretty terrible. I died. But you know, clearly I'm fine now. [An awkward beat.] ....how was your trip home?

ACTION

[nascensibility]

[Dying does have the tendency to be a mood-dampener, and Evelyn had thought her multiple experiences with death (three times in Wonderland, all horrific in their own right) might make it considerably easier to death with how it feels now.

It hasn't, not yet, and she isn't holding her breath. She doesn't have that anymore, either.]

Dipper.

[Softly, gently, and with no small amount of relief that he appears unharmed at the moment she gets up from her desk. It isn't fair to a twelve-year-old who reminds her so much of her son Alex watching, holding onto his uncle Jonathan, staring at his parents in shock while his father panicked to burden him with what happened, particularly when he appears to have lost something of his own. A tangible weariness clings to him and she empathises deeply, the cord of motherhood cut and desperately wanting to hold a child in a time of need.]

It was tiring, [she supplements instead, moving to greet him and resting a handle on his shoulder.] But nothing insurmountable. Do you want to talk about what happened?

[She smiles and the edges are a little sharp, not wanting to stretch too far when she's already paper-thin.]

I have some experience of my own in reanimating the dead.

ACTION

[krmvgivv]

I mean, I'm fine. [Maybe if he keeps saying it it'll be more convincing?] Just... zombies, you know? You get bit, that's pretty much a death sentence and the cure I have probably wouldn't have worked anyway even if we could have found formaldehyde in time and--

[No, he doesn't want to talk about it so why is he talking about it? He wraps an arm around himself, shrugging a shoulder.]

When did you reanimate the dead?

[video forever]

[goodwoofjames]

Dogs? You've always struck me as more of the cat type.

[He's doing his best not to judge her for that, really.]

[video forever]

[nascensibility]

I am, actually,

[she smiles apologetically, unashamed of admitting to it. It doesn't mean she doesn't like dogs, mind you, because she does, but she is less equipped to take care of them than she is equipped to take care of a cat.

Evelyn's smile tightens.]

A friend of mine left while I was away. He had a large number of dogs he had adopted, and I can't care for them all.

[goodwoofjames]

Oh! I'm sorry to hear that.

[He is-- sincerely. But he only waits the smallest necessary amount of time before adding:]

...I can take a dog or two. If you still need help with that.

[He can't help being excited. He hasn't felt it right to drag a dog into existence through the closets, but he has been missing canine companionship. This seems like the perfect opportunity.]

voice;

[ofletters]

[ It takes a very long time. Because Dean doesn't tell him that one of his closest friends is back; Sam doesn't know that Evie arrived when she did, would have flown to the beach in an instant and paled at the blood (out of his infamous, badly-contained anger and not squeamishness, you understand). But he didn't know. Didn't know until the broadcast.

He recognizes the look immediately; it's someone who's been gone a long time when a very short time has passed in Wonderland. Someone who's been through a lot of bad.

Maybe worse.

Sam tries to sound as level and calm as possible when he rings in, not showing his face for fear of his poker face failing him, for once. ]

I can watch them until you find an owner. I'd take them, but -

[ But. He swallows, feeling like a metal hand is squeezing the breath out of his lungs in all the worst ways. ]

The library's fine.

[ Is that a weird way to say "welcome back" and "tell me you're okay?" Why is it that those are the words that come out? ]

voice;

[nascensibility]

[In all fairness, Evelyn would not have wanted anyone to find her the way that Dean found her. It's why she waited, why she stayed in his room until she felt safe, until she could stop shaking. A little while was twelve days, apparently, and she supposes that Wonderland couldn't be bothered to be linear about what it does to them when they least expect it.]

Sam.

[It's nice to hear his voice, even if it's only that - the act itself is unlike him, eschewing familiarity in favour of not wanting to give something away. Evelyn can hear it in the way he wavers. Like her, his heart of often evident on his sleeve.]

I can look after them for now, but it may prove too much over time.

[And they aren't really talking about the dogs anymore, are they?]

How have you been?

voice;

[ofletters]

I really don't mind. You've got enough going on.

[ Er, that should have been "I'm sure you've got enough going on." Distinctions.

And, no, they probably aren't. ]

Oh, you know. [ ... ] The same. ... Uh, though, you missed zombies.

video

[whittling]

Dogs, you say?

video

[nascensibility]

Five of them, to be exact. And a boar piglet.

[Which thinks it's a dog, having spent all that time running amok with them. Evelyn doesn't think the dogs had the heart to exclude the little thing.

All this is truly neither here nor there, however, in light of a new face over her communicator. He must have arrived not long after she left.]

Are you looking to adopt, Mister...?

[action]

[assembles]

[ Evelyn's absence had been noted, of course, but Steve had also found her room still littered with belongings, including her phone. That had left him near-to-certain that she'd be coming back, although it's not something that he can feel all that good about.

Sure, he would have missed Evelyn if she'd left for good, but it would have also been the best thing for her. She would have escaped Wonderland's clutches, no longer prey to it taking things and people and memories from her. She has a family back home, after all.

And to return to her husband and child, only to find herself in Wonderland all over again? Well, it must be heartbreaking, despite the brave face that she puts forward.

Steve's reluctant to meet her in the library given how their last conversation there went, but he's also reluctant to admit to that, so he makes his way over there all the same. He finds her scanning a bookshelf as if she'd never been gone.

He stops a few feet away, crosses his arms and sends her a crooked smile. Tries to be casual. ] How long has it been?

[nascensibility]

[Of the opinion that suffering in silence might not be the best course of action for her, but desirous of time alone to compartmentalise how she feels, Evelyn took to the library for privacy supplemented by the occasional visitor. It is easier to handle questions that way, a controlled environment affording her one-on-one interaction.

She didn't hear Steve coming.]

OhmyGod,

[Evelyn exclaims, hand fluttering to her chest as she starts, turning to see a familiar face. Shock gives ways to anxious laughter, a defence mechanism as she leans up against the nearest shelf and wills her heart to stop racing.]

You frightened me, ah, i-it's been, erm - it was only several hours. For me.

[intelligently]

It's good to see you again.

( Lydia may also be using Evie's video surroundings to try and pinpoint her location as she talks, walking from where she is to find her. Don't mind the bumpy video, Evie, she has to see you )

You weren't gone that long.

[nascensibility]

Just under two weeks, I was told.

[And by a purportedly reliable source who was as distressed to find her body on the beach, almost as distressed as Evelyn was to be back. She indulges a fond smile.]

I trust you kept everything in order.

[savedadance]

I'm sorry that you were returned here- ( Unless she wants to be here, no judgement just sympathies ) -but, can I ask, do you remember being here? From before your departure?

[nascensibility]

[No.

Evelyn does not want to be here.

No matter how many quiet, grateful smiles she sees the chasm in her grows wider and wider, a tear down her middle where one half desperately wishes for home despite knowing there is nothing for her but the dark. The other, stronger side, realises that this place is all that she has left.

Peggy Carter she recognises from a brief meeting some months ago, a woman Steve told her she would like very much. She did, then, but mustering cheer does not come so easily anymore.]

I do, yes. I've gone home several times and come back with my memories. Why do you ask?

action;

[lifeskills]

You've been scarce of late.

<sub>[Victor had been an early bird to the library that morning, and had yet to take a break and check his communication device. Cooped up in a corner with his journal, he's at first unaware Evelyn has returned to her old haunt. What gets his attention is actually the sound of a dog's claws on the floor, courtesy of one of Evelyn's canine friends. He's bemused, then curious. (The dog doesn't offer conversation like the talking bluebird he'd once encountered here, which is an improvement.)

Deciding to pack up and follow it leads him to the woman in question, whom the animal seems accustomed to circling around, clearly familiar with her company.

The first thing Victor thinks to say at the sight of her is to point out the obvious--she's been missing from the library for a while. Her absence has been noted.]</sub>

action;

[nascensibility]

[There is something unnaturally comforting about being addressed by a friend in the almost-privacy of the library - she hears the quiet clicking of Cinnamon's claws on the floorboards before they are followed by shoes, slightly scuffed, of a style even she might call "old fashioned."]

Victor.

[The relief she feels at seeing another face she remembers - another person who didn't leave, another person she still has here - has her neglecting politesse in favour of familiarity. Setting down the books in her arms Evelyn approaches him swiftly, stopping short only when she realises they haven't yet reached a point in their friendship where embraces are an acceptable sort of greeting.]

I'm glad- [No, too cruel to say that she is happy to see him. Too cruel for him, when he may want to return home.] It's good to see you.

video

[therapize]

I would say you actually have pretty good timing-- [After all, if she'd been outside of Wonderland when it had been transformed into a zombie-filled English township, Evelyn should be considered fortunate. Would be, if not for the way she wears her fatigue behind the thin veil of a grin, and it's not at all unlike the look she'd shown during their talk in the library.] --but something tells me you didn't exactly have an easy time of things yourself.

video

[nascensibility]

[Cami is not the face she expected to see over her communicator, but by no means is she unwelcome - Evelyn is accepting any scrap of familiarity she can get out of this place, which does its best to deprive her of them. She's also grateful for the format of their meeting, because too many people coming at her too quickly grows tiresome very fast.

Her smile falters further.]

...no, I didn't.

[Evelyn has never been exceptionally good at keeping things that hurt to herself.]

Less so than I could have expected.

[Video]

[whiskeyslinger]

[ The woman has an elegant air about her, even if she's visibly tired. Ellen finds herself moving to respond before she can quite think things through. ]

You remember being here before?

[ She has no recollection, herself, though it's obvious that people know and remember her. ]

[Video]

[nascensibility]

[An unfamiliar face with a note of concern - someone new, someone with a vested interest in this information. Evelyn steels herself and dons the mask again, exceptional care in her delivery when she says,]

Yes. I have returned home and come back here several times, and always remembered.

[But she won't be going home any more.]

...I don't believe we've met.

text;

[radiopalkiller]

[ It was a sort of limbo of emotions, and Philip's been getting rather good at it. Somebody disappears, and for a month you hold your breath. A month, that's how much you give them to be absolutely sure, even if your heart beats faster after the first week, even if your steps grow anxious after two. Even if you catch your head hanging low after three, and if every day after is a countdown to the final hour, the moment you let a resigned sigh escape from your lips.

It didn't come that far this time.

Not only that, but her very first words to him already gift-wrap her most important answer, before he can even launch the pressing question. She still remembers.

So why is that smile of relief still stuck so deep in his throat? ]

I'm home, anytime you need. Welcome back.

text; -> action;

[nascensibility]

I'll see you soon.

[Evelyn knows the feeling intimately, had put notches into the corner of her desk without realising what she was doing until the damage was already done, had glanced across the way at the place where Mark used to sit and felt herself wishing he was here.

Hoping that he might know what to say, now that she has well and truly taken his place.

She has cleaned herself up now, having spent much of the previous day sitting on the sofa in Dean's room, curled around herself. Wearing warm, normal clothes like a warm, normal person when she feels anything but, a chill sinking into her marrow with which Philip is probably familiar. She knocks on his door not fifteen minutes after his response, tidy, for all intents and purposes looking like someone who came from a formal afternoon tea, rather than an inelegant a prolonged session of "get the Hell out of bed, for God's sake."

There is no hiding the fact that she wanted to go to him first, remembering how long it had taken for Philip to tell her that he had died. Too long. Evelyn does not intend to make the same mistake.]