Philip (
radiopalkiller) wrote in
entranceway2015-08-29 10:19 pm
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That's two negative votes on the network already, and I'm sorely missing the rousing speeches in Hydra's favour. Honestly, what sort of proper evil organisation doesn't even spring for an informative brochure?
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BUT I WOULDN'T SAY I'M SENTIMENTAL ENOUGH TO CALL MYSELF A GUARDIAN ANGEL.
THE NAME'S BILL.
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Cipher, right. The "surprisingly well-dressed triangle". You've been introduced.
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[Sue a guy for getting dressed to impress. Technically he and Philip have already met, but that was when Philip ignored his text.
Rudely.]
DIPPER PINES IS PARANOID BECAUSE I CAME IN FOR CONTRACTED WORK.
YOU EVER TAUGHT A PHYSICS CLASS ONLY TO HAVE SOMEONE COME IN AND START YELLING AT YOU FOR DOING YOUR JOB?
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You ever had to sit through a conference call with ridiculously wealthy parents of a ridiculously daft student? Because once you've got your last name slapped on the entire east wing of one of our building my job is apparently to give an A- to a piece of work less coherent than alphabet soup.
[ An infinitely less enjoyable. Which, by the way, makes the answer to that question a resounding yes.
But he must've known that already. ]
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[Relatable material is a good place to start, particularly with a former professor who definitely had his put-upon days in the classroom. Bill has also had his fair share of pupils, but at least his tended to be on the smarter side.]
THAT'S THE TROUBLE WITH KIDS THESE DAYS.
EVERYBODY WANTS A HANDOUT WITH THE RESULTS OF THE EXPERIMENT BUT NOBODY WANTS TO BE THE ONE TO KILL SCHRÖDINGER'S CAT.
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I GOT SUMMONED BY A FAITH HEALER WHO WANTED THE CODE TO A SAFE, WHICH HAPPENED TO BELONG TO DIPPER'S GREAT-UNCLE.
I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR ALL THE POLITICAL FOOFARAH BETWEEN THE PROVERBIAL HATFIELDS AND THE MCCOYS, I GET A JOB AND I DO IT.
[kanyeshrug.gif]
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[ Because... burglary? Really? Really? ]
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YOU AND ME BOTH. WHATEVER HAPPENED TO THE DAYS WHEN PEOPLE WOULD JUST BREAK INTO EACH OTHER'S HOUSES LIKE CIVILIZED HUMAN BEINGS TO INDULGE THE CARDINAL SINS? WHATEVER HAPPENED TO USING CHLOROFORM?!?!
IT BEATS ME. KIDS THESE DAYS.