entranceway | 002: late night text.

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002: late night text.

I'll be honest, I don't know how all of you are living here.
Not existing, I don't need an explanation for that. I just...

[She's trapped by a future that hasn't happened yet. Hook doesn't have to tell her she's gone dark for her to know he was thrown by the fact that she wasn't. If there's going to be a fight, she's going to lose. In his future, she's the Dark One.

And to have it not happen just because she's here, when she doesn't know why, or for how long, or what this place wants out of her is maddening.]

I feel like I'm waiting for someone to flip the switch and send me back to my life. And I don't know whether to want that because it's mine or to want this because it could always be worse.

[She could be the person Hook thought she was. And eventually, she will be.]

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( right, that he does, and he's not allowed to talk about it. which makes it a little unfair for her to bring it up. )

we're all from scattered points, who is to say we can't stop things before they get to that point?

( because if he gets a do-over, he's not going to let the same thing happen twice. even though he doesn't know what went wrong to begin with. )

Using the same argument, who says we can?

[ It sounds like the do-over potential is minimal when people just go home to the life they would have had anyway. ]

this place has the magic to do it already, the proof is already between us.

( they've just got to figure out how to manipulate it to their favor. )

I think when people go home, they fall back into what was supposed to happen. We're already locked in.

[ She thinks this is giving her a headache.]

I think I don't know what to think yet. and I'm not willing to give up before I know for sure.

( giving up on things is admittedly not his strongest suit. )

Alright. Are you in your room?

[ When all else fails, change the subject.]

( okay not on the subject but: )

close enough.

( maybe not being in his room hints that he isn't trying to sleep. well, that's not that strange, is it? pirates don't have bedtimes. )

Can't sleep?

[ They could always not sleep together. ]

haven't tried yet.

( that's a little closer to the truth than pretending pirates simply have very strange sleeping schedules. that's the reality, though. he surely has slept a little since arrival, but it's so errant it's hard to track how much. )

I take it you can't. you know you don't have to be alone in that.

( he's got to offer, even though a part of him suspects she'll refuse. )

I'm already in bed.

[ Pajamas on, second attempt at sleeping nearly in progress. ]

The door's unlocked.

[Not that a locked one would stop him.]

( actually, it would stop him... if only because it's Emma and if she wanted his company, she wouldn't expect him to go through a lock for it. he's absolutely certain she wouldn't be impressed by his ability to get through despite that, no matter how much more trying it happens to be for a one-handed man. he doesn't answer, favoring just finding her instead. it's not a far pace from the library to her room, just a few floors.

he knocks first even if she's expecting him, and ducks his head in the room before the rest of him follows. he's been in Emma's bedroom before, at least, the one back in Storybrooke. never this late, though; at least there's no way for her father to charge in and shout about her chastity.

for some reason he wasn't quite expecting her to be dressed for bed when he finds her already tucked into it. there's some confusion on his face as he makes it to the side of the bed, the shadows in the room making the darkness under his eyes spread a little farther. he isn't dressed for bed, even if he's missing the normal jacket and jewelry. he sets the book he brought along on her dresser and stoops low enough to catch a kiss to the top of her head. )

You don't look particularly lively to me, Swan.

( she looks quite weary, smaller somehow, in the soft fabrics she sleeps in. it's not quite the plaid number he remembers from new york, but maybe that's all right. things hadn't gone so well for him in those pajamas. )

I didn't say I'm not tired. I said I couldn't sleep.

[She's tried, but knowing what she'll get when she drifts off isn't all that comforting either. It's to the point where maybe she should let him fill in the blanks, tell her what she doesn't know so that her mind doesn't go off in every possible direction. The possibility of hurting her loved ones haunts her in every nightmare she has here, and they don't happen every time, but it's often enough. She knows the damage she could do with the power she agreed to take on, she just never had time to worry about what would come next.

Her bedroom here looks a lot like her bedroom at home. That's probably not a coincidence, especially not with the closet full of her greatest hits. A perk of this place that hasn't totally managed to feel like one; instead it reminds her how much they know about the people they pull in. Enough magic to take whatever they want from any imaginable world, and they're using it for this?

She brushes her hand over the empty space beside her. Thinking about it for a moment, she slides over instead, giving him space to sit down or lay down or just join her however he's comfortable. They haven't done this before, but that doesn't mean they can't do it here.] Make yourself comfortable.

( this place does seem to flex its magical muscle in the oddest of ways. if randomly drawing people in from different points in time wasn't strange enough, the idea it caters to their simplest whims to boot is odd too. a bit of gilded finery to their cage. hard to be overly appreciative, all things considered. he doesn't hate his quarters or the selection in his closet, but it doesn't make him feel any more comfortable here. things ultimately are always things.

the people in Wonderland are really what keep him content, not the finery of the accomodations. though content is perhaps not the right word, when he's still quite deterimined to get all of them out again. they make the confinement easier than if he were trapped on his own. he already knows what that feels like.

it's true, they've never done this before. she's ready for bed and he's not even remotely dressed for sleeping. it could be awkward, if he ever allowed anything to be awkward. he doesn't quite lay down — he doesn't suspect her invitation extends to staying the night and even if it did, well, believe it or not he doesn't actually sleep in tight jeans and leather. he intends to stay until she falls asleep and then he'll take his leave. staring at her as she sleeps is a little too creepy, even for him.

apparently comfortable involves an arm lifted to invite her closer. is anybody surprised? )

Why aren't you sleeping, darling?

( straight to the point. he has an idea of what the answer is, but he can't help but ask anyway. talking about Emma's problems have always been easier than thinking about his own. )

[Comfortable is a relief, at least something around here feels normal.

She lets him settle against the bed and then snuggles close, bringing a blanket with her for the hell of it. He doesn't have to sleep here, he's not dressed for the occasion and she assumes that his pajamas are the invisible kind. Right now, sleeping together probably wouldn't work. That doesn't mean he can't lay with her for a while, or that she doesn't want him to spend the night with her. Emma's still trying to find the right way to do this; to be in a relationship when he knows it's going to end and how. It's not fair, she wanted more with him.

And she knows that Hook hasn't given up. If push came to shove, she'd admit she hasn't either. Hopelessness still creeps in sometimes, but it's taken so long for her to be happy that Emma isn't going to give up her happiness without a fight. Her family taught her to fight for the people she loves. That happens to cover a couple of people in this world, so she'll do the best she can.

Where she falls down is talking about what's bothering her.]

I don't know, maybe it's the bed. [Or the nightmares she has in it. Deep down, she knows Wonderland isn't doing this. It's all her, worrying about what she can't control. Blaming the bed is a lot easier than owning up, she can't help it.] You know how this place is.

[He knows that it's bullshit.] You're up, too.

( she seems to think that whatever he isn't telling her means there's no hope for them anymore. even if he can't take advantage of the time shenanigans this place has to offer, Hook still doesn't believe that. Emma accepting the darkness doesn't mean that she's without hope. if he and Regina could find their way back, surely Emma could as well. she just needed help and support of the people that cared for her, and he would do what he could to grant that to her, no matter how it hurt to see her drowned in black magic. she'd pulled him back from the brink; she deserved the same from him, if she needed it.

he settles his arm over her and his hand toys in blonde, because isn't it always? he frowns for a moment at the ring he isn't wearing, but that's a problem he doesn't see the need to bring up to anyone else. he's not even sure when he lost it, in Storybrooke or in Wonderland. he doesn't like to not be able to find his brother's ring, yet finding it might not be possible until he get back to Maine. apparently it's one thing that his magic closet of his can't bring back to him. still, it's just a momentary concern and then the frown is gone again, focused on the moment instead. )

Seems fine to me, but I suppose my tastes are less refined than a princess. ( he knows very well that Emma will roll her eyes at that one, but they both know it's not the beds keeping her up. as for Wonderland being responsible for her sleeplessness, well... he should realize that as bullshit, except for the fact he isn't sleeping either.

of course he's thought about it. it's not particularly normal to lie for hours and get up again in the morning not really realizing whether he'd slept at all to begin with. it wasn't possible for him to not notice that was abnormal, yet he's lived in a land that did the same before. it's easier to assume Wonderland messes with their internal clocks than try to make sense of a more complicated answer. )

It reminds me of Neverland. ( the longer he'd stayed there the less human he'd felt. not sleeping for days turned to weeks turned to... well he didn't want to think about that. the only way he got a proper night in Neverland had been alcohol induced. a strategy that isn't working terribly well here, but that's not the point. ) Something about time standing still, I think, it makes it harder for a body to know it's meant to be resting. ( overall, he doesn't sound as worried about it as he should be, probably. it's just not his biggest concern at the moment. )

[He doesn't get to make the princess comment without a roll of her eyes and a shake of her head. They both know Emma isn't much of a princess. She grew up on her own, too soon, and without a lot of help. Everything she knows about Killian's upbringing says nearly the same, but with a brother who tried to look out for him. They both have a way of clinging to what matters to them, it's what someone learns to do when they've lost too much. She doesn't want to be a part of that list for him; another loss, another reason not to trust - he's had too much of that spread over centuries. The person who he has become is someone worthy of more than she can give him. She worries about that, sometimes, when she isn't busy worrying about the rest of it.

There's no shortage of things to be concerned about in this world. If it's not his happily ever after, it's Henry's, or her own. Lately, even Regina's has come up. With news of a wedding comes the potential for people who might want to crash it. That might not sound like much when it's weighed against the rest of it, but she'll take every distraction she can get now, even a royal wedding.]

Sometimes it feels like Neverland. [Not just the sleep cycles and time standing still. There's magic here that's being used against people, either for entertainment or power, or some motive Emma hasn't figured out yet. The closets hold their stuff, the bar gives them anything they want. It's supposed to keep them happy here, but instead it makes her more suspicious.] Even when I can sleep, I'm not sure I should. [What happens if she calms herself down long enough to be comfortable here? Another nightmare, or something worse?]

I keep having these dreams. They feel real in the moment, and they're never good.

[It's her way of saying what she doesn't want to; that she loses him, or Henry, or one of her parents. This is a battle they might not be able to win, especially when it's become one she's no longer present for. How are they supposed to accomplish anything from here? No one else has been able to get home, not even one of the most powerful magic users she knows. Most of them accept this world for as long as they're going to be in it, while she's stuck obsessing over what's going to happen once they get sent back.]

I'm not afraid of darkness. I've seen you face it and come out stronger for it. But what if I can't do that?

[Gold tried to push her over the edge and she came close. She took a life protecting her son, and nearly took another when she needed to take her anger out on someone else. Everyone still wants to call her a savior, but it's not that simple anymore. If she doesn't make it out of this, it won't be because the darkness is more than any person can manage. It'll be because she wasn't strong enough.]

( she's not the only one that finds the accommodations more suspicious than comforting. he's the sort of person that rarely sees a kind gesture at face value, he always wonders what the motivation behind it is. surely there's a reason Wonderland tries to keep them complacent, but so far nobody has managed to cough up just why. at least Neverland showed the price of its magic, in the grueling ordeal it was to stay alive. Wonderland kept more close to the chest, at least so far. )

Of course you should. ( he's no stranger to nightmares cutting through desire to actually sleep. in fact, even before he showed up here, his sleeping schedule was... well, unique. to say the least. he's got plenty of darkness lingering in the back of his head, and it seizes the opportunity when he's asleep to remind him of all the things he'll never forget. he supposes Emma isn't far from that and doesn't ask her to elaborate on what horrors she has to face alone in her dreams, just curling the arm around her a little tighter and settling his chin on the top of her head. at least for a moment.

it's hard to keep her there when she says things like that. a whisper at the back of his thoughts sneers that this might be why she fell to the darkness, because she needed someone to believe and there hadn't been anyone there. he's not sure how he failed to show her how much he believes in her, but he's not going to make that mistake twice. )

You've already done it, Emma. ( she's fought back the darkness of three scheming queens and his slithering crocodile, and if that wasn't enough: ) You've been fighting it your whole life, and unlike me, you've managed to beat it. ( she's right, their childhoods, their lives, they really aren't so very different. the biggest distance between them is that no matter how difficult, she took the right choice. she did the right thing. where he turned to darkness. he doesn't blame her for her slips because he's done that and worse. he doesn't want that for her if he can help it, but if it happened?

he tips her chin up from where she's buried it, as if there's no conflict if he can't see it written on her face. )

There's nothing you could do that would make you without hope. If there's hope for me, there will always be hope for you. ( and he's not the only one that believes that, he's sure. her parents falter all too much for his liking but her son wouldn't. and neither would that aggravating queen, who has struggled with finding the light just as much as he has. )

I had an edge.

[Every else gets a fifty-fifty chance. She had parents who gave her an unfair advantage, and she's barely beaten the darkness with that. How is she going to do now that she's taking on the curse of being the Dark One? Is it as bad as she thinks it is? Sometimes she thinks she should just ask, have him tell her, know for certain instead of carrying this fear with her. It'd be one weight lifted, most likely replaced by another. If he knew she hadn't given in, he wouldn't have looked at her the way he did when he first arrived.

There are tells, too. How tired he seems, like she's taking him down with her instead of making the noble sacrifice. The loss, the pain, the burden of not knowing how to help someone he cares about. Sometimes he wears that, and she knows it's about her.

She caused this, and she'll stand by it being the right thing to do - but they've been burned by that before, haven't they?]

I just keep thinking about what we're going back to. What we have here, what life's going to be back home... I don't know anymore.

[Being here comes with the question of when they're going back home, and how much they'll remember when they do. Is there a way to protect themselves against it? Take down notes, start making memory potions - what's going to help? She's seen how dangerous it is to change the timeline, but living in theirs is proving to be equally as dangerous. Should they be trying to arm themselves against what he remembers?

Is it too much to do what Killian says, to hope for some kind of fix?

She sighs, taking a deep breath of him, her arm draped over his chest while she sorts through her scattered thoughts. They could drive themselves insane thinking about all of this. It's what she's doing, even with him here. Maybe they need a distraction, for a little while.]

Let's say we beat all of this. Wonderland, the darkness... then what?

Oh, did you? You're the first orphan living on the street and stealing to survive to tell me they've an edge.

( he's not diminishing what Snow and Charming did. it was disturbingly dark for so-called heroes. but that rather proved his point, didn't it? he didn't like Emma attempting to remove ownership of her choices. he didn't believe a spell existed that could remove all darkness from a person, it would leave them not much of a person at all. she made her own choices and she'd built the person she was now more than any spell or curse loophole ever could.

he didn't believe for a second that spell had removed all ability toward free will. her choices were her own, and sometimes they were good and sometimes they were bad but they were always hers, not some predetermined destiny and certainly not some spell that kept her from ever making the wrong one. )

I've been thinking about how we're going to take advantage of what this place has given us. ( it's odd to feel like the only person still with an inkling of hope that they'll get out of Wonderland. Emma is panicked for the point she goes back and it'll all go wrong. Regina is too busy picking the right shade of chartreuse for her wedding to worry about getting out again. as he sees it they've been given a rare chance to make things right, but he would appreciate help trying to figure out how to work the system. Wonderland has the magic they need, they just need to figure out how to direct it in the way they want to.

he's a little surprised by her inquiry. in their time together, Emma does not do a lot of time talking about their future. they go day by day and that's about it. not to say he doesn't think about their future, because of course he does. he sees her as his happy ending, even though he waffles on the idea that he actually deserves one. of course he thinks about what that will look like months, years from now. he's just a few steps short of doodling their names surrounded by a heart in a notebook on the infatuated scale. Emma loves him, but he knows she's not quite on that level yet. )

Well hopefully something not involving curses, or witches, or hexes, or sleeping potions. I'd take a monkey but only if it's an unmagical one. ( he's taking it as a joke because well, that's generally easier when he's confronted with questions he's not sure how to answer. )

[ She might be the first orphan in history to have that particular, edge. The arguing's done, she's not thinking about reopening an old wound, but she can't help but wonder who she'd be if not for how her parents intervened. Not that it matters, not now, when the darkness is waiting for her back in Storybrooke. Normally she'd start by asking what Killian has in mind when he says he wants to take advantage of being here, but the monkey joke catches her attention first.]

No monkeys. And he wasn't really a monkey, anyway. You were just jealous. [He was a guy turned into a monkey turned back into a guy to do Zelena's bidding. That's minimal monkey status at best and the kind of thing that has her making a face and pointedly moving away from him in mock annoyance. It's fair, she probably should have been able to see through all the lies he told her, but Walsh was more of an idea to her than a person. She liked what he represented, the future she thought was in reach. That's not to say she's disappointed with what she has, because she'd pick Hook every time.

She was looking to be normal in New York. Now, the main goal is to be happy.] I miss those few weeks of peace and quiet in Storybrooke. [The ones they managed to sneak in while Gold was building the evil equivalent of the Spice Girls. Days, weeks, over a month of downtime. It was nice while it lasted.] No curses, or witches, or sleeping potions.

[No mention of a monkey, either. Thanks for nothing, Hook.] A couple of people said it's possible to be happy here. I'm not giving up on getting home, if you want to talk strategy I'm in, but it's not impossible, I guess.

[It doesn't take long for her to cave, sliding back into his arms with soft huff of breath. His history says they can beat this place. They're not aging, time isn't passing the way it's supposed to. There's going to be an opportunity to get out sooner or later, the hard part is finding it, and being prepared to go for it. The people who want to stay have a right to, but there are plenty of people here who want to leave. They've said as much, but they've been here for so long that they've stopped believing in what they're capable of.] You're here, Henry's here. I want as much time as we get to have.

( Walsh had been a monkey at least part time. that's more than enough to qualify as a monkey to a pirate. and yes, so maybe he was jealous. it didn't matter that they hadn't even been in a relationship at the time, nor the fact Emma wouldn't have been able to remember one even if they had. it had stung to see her moving on and so bloody happy with someone that turned out to be a monkey monster that meant to murder her. Walsh wins no bonus points for Killian Jones just because he was only a part-time primate. minimal was far too forgiving.

Emma is at least moderately offended by the mention but to be fair, he'd meant no Zelena-related shenanigans. those did often include monkeys. not so much the one she'd wanted to marry. he didn't care to think about that point in Emma's life any more than she did. it's hard to imagine a Zelena-free existence, even back home she was about and still quite capable of making trouble. still, there had to be a calm even in that storm. )

I miss them too. ( it'd been a very good run, considering their track record. a few months of calm instead of a few hours. maybe that was a good sign, that things were bound to stop getting so bloody ridiculous. or maybe the sign was that Rumpelstiltskin attracted bad things. Hook was very quick to believe the last one. )

I don't think there's anything wrong with being happy here. ( and he doesn't. despite not liking Regina very much he does appreciate how much she's had to work for her happiness and he does not hold it against her. that doesn't mean he's ready to throw in the towel, though, especially not after only being present a few weeks. ) But the moment we give up is the moment we lose our chance. ( perhaps there isn't even a chance. perhaps this is all hopeless. but it's definitely hopeless the second they stop trying.

she moves closer again and he settles a bit more into her pillows. he's still not tired, not even remotely. Emma seems to be, though, and he'd like to see her to sleep before he leaves. ) I say plotting can wait until morning. ( the hint is pretty obvious, even though he doesn't say out loud that she should get some rest. the hand rubbing slow circles in her shoulder might say it without words. )

I say you're trying to trick me into falling asleep. [Give it a few minutes and tricks won't be necessary. She was tired before he came in and having him this close makes her feel a little more at home.

This world is still an unknown to both of them. Emma's been here for longer but no matter how hard she tries, she can't find the point of all of this. When she's alone she questions why she's here and what they want out of her, and there's no answer that she likes. All of this stalls against the inevitable but it doesn't change her future.

If Hook wants to find a way to use all of this, maybe they should. There's more to this world than the rules that they're aware of, if it takes looking beyond all of that, they can. Between the two of them, they have plenty of experience in getting out of other worlds. They can't leave this one until they know what they're walking back into.]

You're not bailing until I fall asleep. [If he's going to insist on her getting some rest, he'd better not wander off until she has a chance to dream of something better. Her mind always goes to what's waiting for her back in Storybrooke, or Camelot, or wherever she ends up. If she has the option of hoping for happiness this time, it's because of him. Killian is the one who believes she's capable of being saved. For Emma, some doubts have already started to set in.]

Just give me five minutes. [She'll struggle to keep her eyes open for at least another two, but when she starts to drift off something causes her to hold him tighter, her eyes finding his with a sleepy awareness before she remembers - ] I love you.

And so far, my nefarious plot seems to be working. ( he's glad that she's starting to come around to the idea of changing what they don't like, instead of resigning themselves to it. he thinks everyone else in this bloody place has been a bad influence on that front, because everyone he's met from home has given up on going back to Storybrooke. he doesn't, he can't, understand that. he doesn't want to. he didn't ask to end up in this place and he won't stay here if there's a way to find his way out again. maybe it'll be difficult and maybe it will take some time, but it's something worth never giving up on.

still, even he knows that it can't be accomplished today. probably in a few weeks, even. it'll be a fight for quite some time, and she probably could use some sleep between now and then. if she can still manage to find weariness he's not going to take it away from her. he wouldn't wish sleepless nights on anyone. if her body hasn't come to the realization that it doesn't need to sleep in an ageless place, he'll let her keep the illusion.

still, he'll close his eyes and enjoy the comfort of the moment, even if he knows he likely won't fall asleep after her. he has to tilt his wrist away as he draws her up a little closer. his namesake doesn't do much for cuddling yet not even a few months of being together has been enough to convince him to take it off in front of her. he pretends it is for her sake, that she shouldn't have to see the ugly stump that remains. it's more likely for his — he doesn't want her to see him as less, even if she already knows that he is. )

I'm not going anywhere. ( for five minutes and probably a bit longer, but you don't confess to your girlfriend that you're probably going to stick around awake while she sleeps unless you're Edward Cullen. he's not so much sleepy as he is at peace, having her so near is enough to turn off a head full of thoughts, at least for a little while. the sleepy promise earns a quite smile, and a kiss dropped to whatever part of his head he can reach without moving terribly much. maybe eventually he'll get clever about the fact she loves him. I know or Do you? or something else dapper. right now he's still too delighted to hear it to really manage to be smart. )

I love you, and I'll love you more in the morning. ( another hint that she should let herself sleep, but an honest promise. he never thought he'd get this feeling again, that each and every day the feeling in his cold black heart would grow a little brighter. she gave him that, and he can never hope to repay her for how much it gives him.

he doesn't leave right away after she falls asleep. in fact he stays longer than he even intends to. it's easy to get lost in the soft pull of her breathing and the content feeling that washes over him. it might even be a few hours before he actually leaves her to her rest, he has no idea how long he lingers, but at the end of it he feels more rested than he has since arrival. Emma will wake to him gone but not without a blanket pulled over her shoulders to make sure she'll stay comfortable on her own. )

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002: late night text.

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