entranceway | e x p e r i m e n t #05 (accidental video)

e x p e r i m e n t #05 (accidental video)

[When the broadcast starts, it goes from silence to the immediate noise of two people screaming, punctuated by the sound of laser gunshots and mechanical whirring. It seems the device is on a side-table, giving a flat view of Ford and Alphys… perched on another table. Alphys is curled up, hands over her head, looking incredibly distressed, while Ford seems to be shooting at something off-camera.]

Oh m-my god, oh my god, we’re going to d-die here, I’m so s-sorry, I didn’t know they were all going to start...

Don’t worry! I happen to have excellent aim.

[All of a sudden, something takes a flying leap up onto the table, and Alphys yells as Ford shoots it down. The ensuing shot causes the device to fall over, revealing the floor is absolutely covered in knife wielding box tentacles, some with multiple arms, some with multiple knives, all running over each other and stabbing the floor, themselves, and the table. Alphys is still yelling. Ford is still shooting. It looks like an absolute catastrophe.]

Maybe we shouldn’t have prototyped them with the basic ability to learn--

Well it w-would have been fine if it was just, y-you know, one of them! They weren’t all supposed to turn on at the same time!

[Suddenly, Alphys turns her head and seems to notice the device, turning herself around and reaching out to grab it, bringing it in close to her and Ford.]

Uh, t-this is totally under control! No need to panic! I d-don’t, uhm, know how long this has been broadcasting, but, it’s f-fine! … And m-maybe don’t come to Ford’s room for, uhm, a little bit, for uh. Reasons.

Is that thing on? Uh, I mean-- Yes! Everything is absolutely, 100% under control. There is no need to worry about anythi-- [Ford cuts himself off and hisses.] Watch out, Alphys! I think it just tasted my blood!!

Oh g-god please don’t let that do anything new.

[And the device blinks off, cutting out the mechanical whirring sounds with it.]

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[Neither one has common sense, do they? If you plan to make something like that, at least limit it to one!]

I'd say. And you made them able to learn? [He's not quite sure why they would need such a function, but it sounds like none of this was done with a purpose in mind.] They can't move or open doors?

I helped program their functions and movements and worked on their tiny hydraulics! I couldn't be more proud.

I could write and illustrate a book. That would take more time but ultimately be more rewarding.

--Holy cow! I thought she said Spiderman! I heard Captain America was here, but I didn't know you were here too! [He was born in '48. Comic books were a way of life.]

Hello! And thank you, but I think we'll be alright. This is just a minor inconvenience, really.

Actually, I have an idea! Think you could hop on my back? I'll just carry you right over there! The diminished numbers are no match for my boots.

--Oh! Yes, like automatons! Sorry, the word robot is coined from the Czech word robota which means "forced labor." It came from a 1920 Czech play about synthetic humans created to work for humanity, and the English translation became Rossum's Universal Robots.

[By now it's been apparent that his brain is a vast vault of both useful and useless facts.]

Don't worry! I won't. My priority is getting Alphys and myself out of this without getting hurt.

[To help her feel better, he adds:] I wouldn't want you to worry. [--with a smile.]

I'm going to worry a-anyway...

[But she appreciates the words.]

"You're one to replicate dangerous experiments" he says. I have a lot more free time on my hands than I've ever had in my entire life. [He's not offended though, which is apparent because he's grinning like the mad scientist he is.]

I should remind you that you're talking to me, not my brother. Still, it's not a bad thought, really. Wonderland is lacking in live entertainment but watching these things fight each other doesn't strike me as particularly stimulating.

Proper robots, on the other hand... ... But I'd rather leave that to the robotics experts.

Of course he doesn't breathe fire! He's just an owl. I have this metal plate in my head and he likes the sound my skull makes when he taps his beak against it.

I believe it's a sign of affection since he does it to other people.

[........The answer to that question is about... 50/50. Fiddleford got lucky this time.]

Oh come on. You know better than almost anyone I'm more durable than I look! And I look pretty durable, in my opinion.

[Mettaton leans more into the camera, clearly taking in the look of some of the wiggling nightmares all over the floor, and nods a little.]

Yes, that makes sense. The movement of the tentacles are more fluid than Alphys's usual affair, though it's only a slight difference. They seem to list a bit to the left though, so I'd be wary of that in the future.

[He doesn't have any actual robotics knowledge, just "gut feelings" gained after so much time spent in a robotic body and watching Alphys work.]

...You couldn't be more proud of the robots that currently have you in such mortal peril.

[He lets the sarcasm sit, dry and heavy on his voice. He is grinning a little, however, so he's not terribly serious.]

[Ford can appreciate backpacks that are made out of pockets. He's actually considered attaching a pocket dimension to his coat before, but never had the time to settle down and build the equipment necessary (not until now).

He crosses over to this curious person with light caution.]

Good morning to you too. I'm fine, thank you. So... I'm here to see a demonstration of your products in the hopes for a potential trade. What exactly do you want to use one of those prototypes for, anyway? Just out of curiosity.

Hey, they have us in peril because they're working! That's why I'm proud.

As for your observations... I suppose I'll keep that in mind. I suppose it takes a robot to know a robot.

... I-I want to see you when this is over... J-Just in case!

[Oh, well that's... wait--]

Uh, alright... I hope you don't mind my askin' for an explanation regardin' why you have a metal plate in your head now, 'cause that sure wasn't a thing last time I saw you.

[seriously what the fuck ford]

Why don't I send you a video message? I actually have to talk to both my brother and a friend of mine who just arrived after this.

[Mikan's concern for his well being is a little overwhelming, sometimes a little frustrating, but mostly just heartwarming.]

Ah! O-Of course! You m-muse see them first!

I don't mind at all. I documented many of my adventures as I travelled through the multiverse, and I have two of my journals here in Wonderland.

Just make yourself at home, I'll get to you as soon as I can.

O-Oh my god y-you're all red like one of those, those color-changing lizards, the chameleon guys, haha, oh man.

man. you must be bored outta your mind. no wonder you and al decided tentacle boxes made sense.

[But he gets it. Besides, what does he know? He was advocating for mints and soda not too long ago. Knife-wielding tentacles is basically in the exact same vein--just a bit more dangerous.]

maybe stan could place the bets, then. you could just run the tentacle fight. but i see what you mean. maybe, uh, motorized robots with weaponry or something. i bet al could swing that.

I'm glad you are continuing to bond with Alphys, even if this is a bit more unorthodox than is usual for these sorts of things.

[He wonders if Ford is still mad about the impromptu blind date he set him up on. Well, he can't be too mad if he's speaking to him right now.]

Oh yes, a robot knows a robot very well! Well, to an extent. I just watch Alphys while she works often enough to have picked up a thing or two.

[Some of the tentacles start to wave in tandem and Mettaton raises an eyebrow.]

Is that a randomized movement, or are they starting to work together?

[He perks up at this mention of a journal and the sharing of it.]

He gave you his journal to read? Oh Alphys, that's such a sweet gesture! Soooo... are you two an item now or...?

[Because THAT'S the appropriate thing to ask when your best friend and her maybe boyfriend are under attack by their own tenctacled hubris!]

H-Hah, well, this place does sort of, uh, m-making you have mood whiplash after a while.

[Player what she's gonna casually ignore THAT ONE]

I'll, uhm, l-let you know! Maybe, uh, if there's not an event soon, to uh, t-throw a wrench in everyone's plans.

Maybe?? Or, uh, they're learning to target specific pieces to up their s-stabbing efficiency.

Either way, uh, we're not going to d-do this again.

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e x p e r i m e n t #05 (accidental video)

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