entranceway | [Video]

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Dear Wonderland.

[She says it like she's starting a letter. To all of you Wonderland girls and guys! She's obviously in her room, the wall of pasted-on Polaroid photos behind her, with softly lit lanterns hanging across the surface on thin wires. It's late at night- or rather, it's the wee hours of the morning. Max has no idea how much the old midnight gang of insomniacs still prowls around the network. She used to be pretty active at this time- not so much anymore.]

This is gonna sound kinda weird, but I swear I'm not off my rocker. Maybe groggy and craving for food, but not crazy.

[ Come on Max, stop embarrassing yourself on the network!]

I was just thinking that I would've graduated by now, since it's June. I'd probably be scrambling to find some sort of arts college that I can afford or that I can even get into. [Or not. Spending a year traveling and taking photos sounds great, too, but college seems pretty important.] And it sucks that I don't have school here.

But... obviously a lot of things suck about Wonderland. Nutso mirrors, certain newbies showing up, all kinds of scary mystery type stuff, nasty events. I mean, sometimes it's... just shit. [Like the past few days, for a lot of people. The network's been full of downers. Her brow furrows as she looks to the side, and her mouth curves into a slight frown.] And I'm sure some of us are bringing in a ton of messed up baggage from back home, too.

[She holds up a stack of instant photos, maybe seven or eight. She angles the stack sideways, so only the sides can be seen by the camera. The girl's still a little too shy to show the actual images.] But see this? Each one's a photo of a... a friend I've made here. People I could actually hang out with. [She waves the little stack at the screen, preparing herself for this next admission.] That's more friends than I had- have in my school.

So yeah, Wonderland totally bombs sometimes. But there's some pretty good stuff going on, too. And I know this is gonna be really hard right now, but I want to hear it- what's something you're super grateful for? Something you might never have had if you hadn't fallen down the rabbit hole? [She tries to make it sound like it's fun challenge, smiling timidly at the screen.] Cuz I'm sure you could name at least three things.

[[OOC: After the post, she leaves her room to roam around the mansion, phone light in hand. Feel free to bump into her wherever! Also, she'll be replying to all responses, even the ones after sunrise.]]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Oh come on! He said a version of his brother. How do you say something like that by accident?]

Sans... I just wanna know.

[And it's more than just idle curiosity. There's an intensity in her eyes and the line of her mouth. She needs this.]

...why?

[He's tired.]

[...God. As much as she hates pushing him, she really has to know this. But she also doesn't know how to answer Sans' really simple question.

So she doesn't. Sorry, Sans...

She lets out a frustrated huff.]

...It's probably really hard to talk about. [It always is.] I'm sorry, Sans. But... was there some sort of time stuff going on? [She bites her lip before speaking again. Softly, hesitantly.] Like time travel?

[He could lie. He could just not answer. None of this even matters. Not in Wonderland. He wonders if this ever comes up back home. It must, right? Alphys or Papyrus, or maybe Asgore. Someone figures it out, someone wonders why they're having deja vu all the time. Someone asks Sans. It's supposed to be a secret. Does he just lie to them? Does he keep lying even when they ask him directly, even when they call him out on it? Does he break down and tell them?]

[He doesn't know. He's probably done all of the above.]

[It doesn't matter here, so it hasn't come up, except one time with Papyrus. And at least that time Sans didn't really have to go into it. Papyrus let him gloss over some of the details.]

[And Max...Max has nothing to do with any of this. But she's a friend. And she's asking directly. And she's asking as if she herself knows a thing or two about time stuff.]

[He's been spilling his guts an awful lot lately, for all that he's a skeleton.]

[He's been quiet for awhile. He sighs. He's just...tired. So tired.]

have frisk or chara told you anything about resets?

[Oh, this is it. He's starting to tell her. A creeping sensation works up her legs and back and arms, goose bumps all over, hair on end. She can't believe how stuff like this makes her feel, but god, does she even want to get into this? Her hands start shaking like she's had too much coffee, so she sets down the phone in a way that it's still facing her. She gulps in a deep breath before she replies.]

No. I saw Frisk once with some physics books, stuff about time, but other than that... And Chara's just always being Chara.

[She rubs the back of her neck with her hand. Her shaking hand.

This is curiosity killing the cat. She shouldn't be asking, she's been okay so far. But she has to know, all the shit that happened back in Oregon, all the stuff Frisk and Chara and Sans are tangled up in, the trauma, and oh god- deep breath she doesn't want to let Sans see how much this is affecting her.

Maybe it's not anything like time travel at all. She hopes for it and dreads it at the same time. Fuck.]

[She seems...upset. Jittery, even. This really is important to her, isn't it? Something happened to her. Maybe is still happening, back in her world.]

[He's really going to do this, isn't he? He's...he's really going to talk about this.]

it's...something humans can do. not all humans. just...heh. very determined ones. monsters can't do it. monsters aren't determined enough. there's a lot of... [He trails off and shrugs.] ...science and magic involved. technical stuff. doesn't matter.

a reset basically lets you go back in time. but only to a specific point. a human could use it if they got into trouble to just go back and prevent it from happening. or to fix mistakes, or to make a different decision.

[He goes quiet again for a bit. From the video it's clear he has sat down somewhere and set the phone down on a flat surface. He rubs at the spot between his eyesockets.]

when you reset and change something, it's like it never happened. no one but the person doing the resetting would know anything was different. everything just starts over. no one remembers.

[The words are burning themselves into her brain. Determined humans? Resets, like things never happened, and no one remembers.

It's... it's close. It's almost the same as Max's own terrifying experiences. She squeezes her eyes shut and covers her face with her hands, listening to Sans' explanation.

It's almost like the thing she can do with pictures. No, could do. Not anymore. The more dangerous form of rewind, where she jumps as far back as years into the specific moment captured by the photograph. That's the one that really fucks things up.

She almost hears a slow voice in the back of her mind, like an audible smirk, taunting her, telling her what a mess she's made.

Slowly, she lowers her hands. They linger over her mouth as she inhales deeply again. She can't quite look at him, instead focusing on a point just above the phone. When she finally speaks, her voice is raspy and she has to clear her throat.]

How far back in time? And how can they choose what point to go back to?

[He was right. She must have experience with this. She's a wreck. Well, no more or less so than he is, at least.]

i don't know if they can. [He frowns. He knows where the starting point is from his perspective--he wakes up in Snowdin, and a day or two later, the human shows up. The Save, if that's even what it is, must be somewhere in the Ruins.]

the starting point might be fixed. but they can go back to it at any time. hours, days...maybe years.

[Maybe. He doesn't know for sure.]

there's something similar called a reload. it doesn't start things over--just sends you back to your last "save." it's less, uh, all-consuming than a reset. so if something goes wrong or the human dies, they can just go back a few minutes and fix it.

[Come on, Max. Keep it together. You're just talking about it. No biggie.

Sans seems to be talking about two types- a quick one and a big one. It sounds more and more like what Max went through, and that's frightening. Why is this affecting her so much? She can actually feel her eyes starting to water.

Pfft, Maxine, you haven't had it together in months.

Who the hell said that?]

How- how did it start? Do you know? And what do you mean determination?

[God, is she crying? He's pretty sure she's crying.]

max, we don't...we don't have to talk about this. i...heh. you just seem like you're enjoying this about as much as i am.

What? I-... [She has to know. She can't be this close to finding things out and then just back away, even if there are slight differences- it's just too close to the truth she's been hunting for months, and- and now Sans just wants to stop? Doesn't he get how much this means to her, how much crap she went through, god, why doesn't anyone but Chloe-

Because she never told him. And he can already tell how much it's affecting her. Deep breath. Try not to cry. Hang your head in shame, because you should be ashamed! Because people died Max!]

Just... t-tell me how it started.

why is it important? none of this even matters here.

something happened to you. right?

Fuck. I don't know. [Now even more self conscious than before, she rubs at her eyes, and only nods in answer to his second questions. She got so caught up in her own feelings that she sort of forgot about his. It takes another deep breath to start calming down.]

You too?

yeah. me too.

[She looks at him, hesitating for a few moments, her mouth slightly open as she struggles between asking more and wanting this conversation to end. Eventually the former wins out.

She hangs her head, can't look him in the eye. He must be hating this, too. How could anyone like anything to do with this crap?]

What happened...?

[He goes quiet. His eyelights flicker out. He's quiet for long enough that it almost seems like he's fallen asleep.]

[This. Is happening, isn't it? They're talking about this. He's already told her things no one is supposed to know.]

something appeared in the underground. not a human or a monster. but it was determined enough that it could reset. so it did. over and over.

some timelines were okay. others weren't.

[He should stop. He should just stop. He doesn't.]

eventually a human appeared and they gained control of the timelines. this human's determination won out, i guess. and they did the same thing. resets. some good timelines, some bad.

[He already mentioned Frisk's and Chara's names, but he's not going to openly throw them under the bus. He's leaving out most of the details already.]

like i said, no one knows about this back home. how could they? time unwinds and it all starts over. no one notices.

[...]

[It scares her, the way Sans seems to shut down. She doesn't know what monsters are like- what skeletons are like. How is she supposed to react, in that silence that seems to stretch on and on. She almost speaks when he finally starts talking. Then she listens quietly, her breathing slowing down.

It was Chara, wasn't it? Or Frisk. One of them, maybe. The Underground's full of monsters except for those two, right? And Chara's the one that's not sure what they are- they must be the 'something' Sans is talking about. And Frisk must be the human.

Chara once told her about being replaced- maybe that's what they meant.

Some good timelines, some bad. Other timelines where you can't tell. Some that pretend to be good until you find out later on just how much you've fucked up the world.

She gets it.]

You know about it.

[She's clever. She knows they were involved, and will probably sort out the details on her own. Though if he knew how she's interpreting this, he'd probably freak out a bit more.]

...yeah. some stuff happened and i...figured it out. sometimes i can even. remember a little. not much. mostly i'm just...heh. good at guessing.

so...imagine you were living your life happily and then you found out about this. one day you learn that no matter what you say or do, it's all going to be reset. everything will go back to zero. everyone will forget. kinda...

[Kinda makes it hard to give it my all.]

[He makes himself smile. Makes his eyelights come back.]

well, heh, it kinda puts things into perspective, right? that's, uh. just one of the reasons why i don't...i never talk about this. people don't need that kind of weight, yanno?

[That's Sans for you... always smiling.

Which, now that she thinks about it, is a pretty bad sign.

She wonders at the fact he can remember bits and pieces. Maybe back in Oregon, if she had done it enough, maybe people would have started remembering, too. That would have been... something.

Not that it matters now. She hasn't done it even once in Wonderland. She can't, really. Ever since she messed with time for the last time- to make sure she couldn't rewind in the first place- the ability has just been gone.

But it's interesting to see it from Sans' perspective... to see the victim in it, and know how Max shares the villain's role.

She hangs her head in shame.]

God. I'm so fucking sorry, Sans. I can't even imagine how pointless that all feels... [She shudders at the thought, rubs a hand on the back of her neck. The chilly feeling creeps back in.] Has it... has it been happening here?

[He said too much. Good lord, now she feels sorry for him. His smile stays firmly in place.]

nah, it's not...it's not that bad. you kinda get used to it? you just sorta...learn to live in the moment, enjoy things while they last. right? no point in getting upset about it. heh, who has time for that.

[Hilarious.]

but, uh. it hasn't happened here. i don't think it can.

[There's been Reloads, but Resets are impossible.]

[She looks back at him with a jerk of the head. He doesn't think it can happen? There's vindication there, affirmation of Max's idea that the power is really gone. She's sure it is, of course, but it's nice to hear it, from someone else... and Sans is smart. He knows how it is.

It doesn't even cross her mind that he means just the one thing, the big resets and not the little reloads. Her head is swimming- too much stress and excitement maybe, too many voices in one brain, too many ideas all at once. It's hard to keep track. She's barely managing.

When she looks up he's still smiling. That steady, firm smile.]

Th-They can't rewind? [Her eyes are a slightly wide, and her voice is a little high-pitched. She doesn't even realize that she used the wrong term.] Frisk and Chara, or-... or whoever?

[Shit.]

not...not here. a human could save or reload, but the resets are too big. don't think wonderland will allow it.

listen, it...might be best if you don't bring this up with them, at least for now. they don't like talking about this any more than i do, and they're kinda...working through some stuff. i'll tell them that you know. don't worry--that itself won't be an issue, but...there's just some secrets that aren't mine to tell, yanno?

[Save and reload. That's... that's the smaller one, right?

Oh god, they can still do it, oh Jesus. Okay, it's not the same for them, it's not. She looks down again, can't quite meet that steady smile.]

Have they been-... reloading a lot... in Wonderland? I won't bring it up, I swear, I know they've been going through a lot... I was hoping th-they'd reply, but... but I guess...

[Reload. Rewind. Practically the same- someone else can do it, maybe someone else has been. That doesn't mean Max can! Should she be looking out the window, dreading the day when Frisk and Chara abuse the timeline enough so the world starts tearing itself apart in protest? The other thoughts she's had trail away at the fear that builds up inside her.

Not her fault this time! Not her fault!]

nah, don't worry about it. they just need time.

but, uh. yeah. there've been some reloads. not a lot. it's not something they play around with. more of a necessity.

[Would she notice? Would she know what they feel like, or would it feel different for her than it does for Sans? It never actually occurred to him to wonder what Reloads and Resets actually feel like for Frisk and Chara.]

[Dipper and now Max...just how many people are in Wonderland who might actually feel it when it happens, might actually understand all of this?]

i've never really...talked about this. not here, not at home. i told papyrus some of it, but...

then again...heh. i guess i'll never know for sure whether i've talked about this or not. i figure i must have at least once.

[He's quiet for a moment, lacing his fingerbones together.]

i guess i trust you.

[With this, at least. She understands. She's one of the only people he's met who even can.]

[She hasn't felt any rewinds or reloads. Maybe if she'd been concentrating, maybe now that she knows then- no, no, she won't feel it because she can't do it herself anymore, right?

At least they don't play around with it. She breathes a heavy sigh of relief at that, knowing that they're less reckless than she was.

Still without looking up at him, she wipes her eyes and nose against the sleeve of her jacket. Embarrassed. She was... she still is sort of breaking down. But she tries to find comfort in his words, about him trusting her.

She wouldn't trust herself. He probably shouldn't.]

T-thanks Sans. [Another sniff and more vigorous rubbing at her eyes. Her voice becomes firmer.] I trust you too. That's why I asked you about it. Are you... okay? I still can't imagine what it's like...

[To be at the butt-end of every rewind. To not know anything. To only suspect.

God, Chloe must hate her, sometimes.]

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