[VIDEO]

[stoptheviolence]

[The camera unfocuses for a moment before focusing back in on...Brittany. Of course. It’s her camera, so why wouldn’t it be her? But she’s not alone. There’s an adorable miniature pony at her side...with a horn on its head...and the sounds of a chirping squirrel can be heard coming from somewhere just off-screen.]

[Brittany, of course, sees nothing wrong with any of this, and is happily spinning in her chair, wearing her pajamas, despite the fact that her hair is has been expertly styled, and her makeup is impeccable. Beside her, the usual decorations of a youthful teen girl could be seen. Bright colors. Stuffed animals. And a particular picture seen hanging on the wall right over her bed.]

‘sup, Wonderland. I’m Brittany. And this is my new show, the Wonderland edition of Fondue for Two.

...well, four, if you count Lady Winny and Sir Squeakums over there.

[More chirping, as if the squirrel were responding to her. The unicorn remained silent. Content with just sitting there and looking fabulous. As she should. Santana, on the other hand, is sitting nearby but away from the furry creatures, looking...like she is doing this out of love. Being the first semi-guest was not on her to-do list, especially after her experience with the show back home. Again: for love.]

We’re here to bring you the latest and greatest of Wonderland’s cheezy news. [As she says this, she leans forward and reaches down to pick up...something speared onto a large toothpick and covered in Fondue goodness. She makes a show of eating it. Because cheezy fondue. Get it?] And, I guess, whatever else we feel like talking about at the moment.

So if you’ve got the goods, feel free to call in. After all, sharing is caring.

[And then, just before she lets it go to the phones...or Network, or whatever, Santana decides to speak up:]

Do it or Imma break some kneecaps.

Comments

Video

[thneedifestdestiny]

...Wait. Is this literally a show about cheese?

[The Once-ler: Always asking the important questions.]

Video

[stoptheviolence]

Do you want it to be a show about cheese?

Video

[thneedifestdestiny]

Uh. ...I guess I've never really thought about it before.

Maybe?

[He'd probably watch it. It's not like he's got anything better to do.]

Video

[stoptheviolence]

Well, we have the Fondue to start. It's a blend of, like, three different kinds we melted down just before the show started.

What else did you want to know?

Video

[thneedifestdestiny]

Hm. Well, what kind of cheese is in it? And what's your favorite kind?

[At least he's interested?]

Video

[stoptheviolence]

Melted cheese is my favorite.

And I forget which ones we put in here. I just asked the magic closet for some cheese, and it gave them to us.

Video

[thneedifestdestiny]

[He looks concerned about the closet cheese for a second (because hey, that could be anything!) but he shrugs it off. Hey, he's eaten plenty of random closet things. He can't really judge much.]

Melted cheese is pretty good. Ooo! Or when you put a pizza in the oven and you get all those crunchy cheesy bits on the pan! Those are pretty great too.

Video

[stoptheviolence]

I guess.

Pizza cheese is kinda greasy, though.

Video

[thneedifestdestiny]

Well, yeah. That's like saying water's kinda wet. But so what? Greasy pizza cheese is the greatest!

Re: Video

[stoptheviolence]

No, it's not.

Greasy stuff is bad for you. Especially if you eat it too much. It'll totally mess up your skin and make you gain weight.

Video

[thneedifestdestiny]

[He rolls his eyes.]

Yeah, yeah. I keep hearing that, but I've never had a problem with it.

[Seriously, just look at him. He might as well be a twig.]

Video

[stoptheviolence]

Well, yeah. I mean, you look like a kid. Kids are totally immune to that kind of stuff.

Just wait until you get older.

Video

[thneedifestdestiny]

[He kind of sputters at that, too shocked and offended to say anything for a second.]

What?! I'm not a kid! I'm probably older than you are!

Video

[stoptheviolence]

You don't look it.

Video

[thneedifestdestiny]

Well, I am it. I'm 26!

Video

[stoptheviolence]

...is this, like, one of those Fake ID age things? 'cause, trust me, you didn't have to go that high.

Video

[thneedifestdestiny]

Uh, no. No, it's not. I am definitely 26. I'm even the CEO of my own company! I don't need a Fake ID!

Video

[stoptheviolence]

[Well, you'd at least need an ID]

What company?

[itsahotone]

[Santana...shall sigh.]

It's not about cheese. The cheese is to eat.

[thneedifestdestiny]

Why would I want to watch a show about you two eating cheese?

[He'd rather just go eat cheese himself, thanks.]

[itsahotone]

It's to eat while we talk, walking stick. [Yes, like the bug.] It's a talk show. The guests get fondue. How is that so hard to understand?

[thneedifestdestiny]

[He looks so offended.]

Hey, it's not my fault! You guys just weren't clear enough, that's all. You can't blame a guy for assuming when half the video's vaguely cheese-related.

[itsahotone]

Uh, actually I can. Just cause you need your ears cleaned doesn't mean you get to insult Britt's show.

[But also: LOL she is so entertained by Brittany's conversation with this fool.]

[thneedifestdestiny]

I wasn't insulting it! I just asked a question, sheesh!

[Wow, what a rude girl!]

[itsahotone]

A dumb question, yeah.