I } text

[unhand]

[It’s taken Hook a while to type out the message. What business do letters have being in some strange, nonsensical order? What sort of alphabet goes from Q to M instead of A to Z? It’s bloody confusing, but he’s managed, at last, to type out his message on the automatic writing mechanism he found in his pocket. It seems to have some sort of magical ability to show images and produce sounds too, but he has yet to figure those ones out.

The message is short and a bit stilted. He’s not used to having to hunt so hard for each letter, and finding advanced punctuation or capital letters is beyond him. But it gets the point across.]

to whom it may concern

ive found myself on strange shores and could use information should it be available. the name is captain hook. im supposed to be in new york. does anyone know how to get there? i need to find emma swan. it is very important.

sincerely,
hook

Comments

text ∿

[cinnamonie]

[ so mary margaret sees this video. she sees it, and is suddenly very suspicious because if there are more people from home it probably means more people she will know but doesn't know yet and she doesn't like that.

but rather than wait and find out from emma, or henry, or anyone else, mary margaret is going to react to that little bit calling out emma. just because. ]

How do you know Emma?

text ∿

[unhand]

[The text takes a while to come back because you try texting one handed when this is your first time using a phone.]

shes an old friend. do you know her too?

text ∿

[cinnamonie]

[ honestly, if she knew about the hand bit she'd have switched the video just for ease. but until that point, she is unknowingly so very proud, hook. ]

Old friend from where? And yes, I do. We used to be roommates.

[Audio]

[cursebreaking]

[First things first: she's almost impressed at how he's managed to put a modern phone to use. Not to mention he's had to do all his texting one-handed. That's nothing to sniff at. Rather than bother with texting a response, she goes directly to audio, putting herself in motion as she does so.

Any and all Wonderland reunions ought to be done in person, and the last thing any of them want is a lost Hook wandering unattended.]

Looks like it's your lucky day, Hook. You've found her. Where are you? Toss me a landmark or something.

[Audio]

[unhand]

[Oh THAT'S how you make the sound. Hook is startled for a moment at hearing her voice after all these years.]

There's a large mansion in the distance. [A beat.] I'm by the sea. Swan, how are you here?

audio;

[madehervows]

[Out of all the people Regina wanted to show up from home, Hook definitely wasn't at the top of the list. Or the middle. Somewhere near the bottom, really.

But nearly the entire town is near the bottom, so it doesn't really matter. She's already in motion when she speaks, he sounds like he's from after both herself and Emma, so potential updates are more important than her own personal feelings about the pirate.]

Hook. Nice of you to finally join us.

audio;

[unhand]

Your Highness. [Hook sounds... mostly confused still. Don't mind him, he's new.] Am I in the Enchanted Forest again? I don't recognize the shore...

text

[jolting]

[dafuq are you talking about being in New York?]

Hook
Welcome to Wonderland. You'll find Emma here, along with several others from Storybrooke.

sincerely,
Doctor Whale

text

[unhand]

[Proper letter format, at last! This texting business still takes some getting used to.]

whale

was there another curse? how do you make capital letters on this device?

best,
hook

text

[sorta_cinderella]

[Captain Hook. Really. Well, they are in Wonderland, apparently... so let's handle this with some maturity.]

Yo ho ho.

text

[unhand]

[Hook is definitely not good enough at phones to comprehend why anyone would send him this.]

who is this?

[text]

[claimyourself]

She's here, so she'll probably see this message.

And if you're really Captain Hook, then you know Peter Pan, right?

[And Lena's still not sure what to think of him. He's pretty nosy. Kind of a jerk.]

[text]

[unhand]

unfortunately. why?

[text]

[selfrespecting]

[Getting a text that's written more like a very short letter is a change in what Martha's used to, but it's actually rather endearing.

Captain Hook himself is the one responsible, and considering that he's asking for Emma, there's really no mystery as to what world he's from. A bonafide pirate, and more than that, one of Emma's allies.]

Emma is definitely here. I imagine she'll find you before you find her.

[Martha's also not sure she should be giving out Emma's room number, even if it is to a friend.]

[text]

[unhand]

aye she is already on her way.

[A pause before another text comes through.]

who are you?

video;

[goesdown]

[ Oh, Emma just keeps getting more and more interesting, doesn't she? A friend named Captain Hook.

Crowley goes straight for the video. ]

Hello. My name is Crowley and you've found yourself in Wonderland. Emma is certainly here. Are you from her world?

[ He smiles. Isn't he so helpful? ]

video;

[unhand]

[Okay, the voice thing was hard enough to comprehend. Now there's a moving picture? Hook frowns and pokes at his screen in confusion for a moment before responding.]

Depends which world she's claiming as her own these days.

text;

[monopolies]

[ He'd had a year to master the art of texting (like a 100 year old blind dog), then Wonderland had to be a bitch and throw him back in a time when the Bessemer process is fucking innovative. Not that he's complaining, but now he has to get used to typing all over again. It's easier the second time around. Like riding a bike. Or a Utahraptor, if you're America. Same difference).

Point being it takes him twenty minutes and he ends up with a catastrophic mix of formal letter writing and drunken teenage texting. ]

DEAR CAPTAIN HOOK,

IT WILL PLEASE YOU TO KNOW THAT I'M VERY FAMILIAR WITH NEW YORK CITY AND STATE! IT WILL NOT PLEASE YOU TO KNOW YOU ARE NOWHERE NEAR IT. IF YOU WERE AIMING FOR NEW YORK HOO BOY YOU ARE FURTHER OFF COURSE THAN COLUMBUS. THIS IS A WHOLE DIFFERENT UNIVERSE/WORLD/GALAXY?/DIMENSION? YOU WILL WANT TO ASK THE SPACE TRAVELERS LIKE MARTHA JONES OR LUKE SMITH OR THE DOCTOR ABOUT THAT SORT OF THING BECAUSE IT IS SOME INTERESTING YET COMPLICATED SHIT THAT I DON'T UNDERSTAND.

THERE IS NO WAY TO GET THERE FROM HERE BY CHOICE, AT LEAST NOT THAT ANYONE HAS FIGURED OUT. EMMA SWAN MAY STILL BE HERE. I MET HER A FEW TIMES. SHE'S NICE. EXCEPT ONE TIME I THINK I WAS HEADLESS.

IN BETTER NEWS A LOT OF THINGS HERE ARE FREE! ROOM, BOARD, BOOZE, WEAPONS, DINOSAURS, ETC. THE USUAL STUFF.

I DON'T KNOW HOW TO TURN OFF AUTO CORRECT AND IT KEEPS WANTING ME TO TELL YOU SOMETHING ABOUT AVOCADOS INSTEAD OF MAGIC. I DON'T UNDERSTAND?

THE AVOCADOS ARE FREE.

ENJOY YOUR STAY!

WITH REGARDS,
THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA
(YES THE COUNTRY.)
(I AM A PERSONIFICATION.)
(THERE ARE DEMONS HERE TOO. THEY ARE JERKS.)

text;

[unhand]

[Hook has found the capslock key by now but he does not know how to turn it off and just use shift, so this conversation's gonna be obnoxious on both ends!]

DEAR MR. AMERICA,

WHICH COUNTRY IS THAT AGAIN? I'M UNCERTAIN IF I HAVE BEEN THERE. EMMA IS INDEED HERE SO I HAVE NO NEED TO GO TO NEW YORK. I HEAR WE ARE IN WONDERLAND BUT I HAVE BEEN TO WONDERLAND AND THIS IS NOT IT.

I DO ENJOY AVOCADOS.

SINCERELY,
HOOK

[onsilksheets]

Texting one handed must be difficult I'd imagine.

[Okay, she's done for now.]

I have reason to believe that Emma is here. Unfortunately, getting to New York won't be so easy for you, darling.

We're stuck here.

[unhand]

[It is difficult, and now he's accidentally set it on capslock and doesn't know how to change it.]

NEW YORK IS UNIMPORTANT IF EMMA IS HERE. I DO NOT LIKE BEING STUCK, THOUGH.

I WOULD STILL NEED TO USE ONE HAND TO HOLD IT WOULDNT I? NOT MUCH DIFFERENCE.

video

[grewuphuman]

[Adam doesn't much like texting. It seems a little too impersonal. And voice function is fine and all but it's not quite the same as being able to look at the person when he's talking to them. Considering he doesn't think this guy would appreciate him just showing up where he's at, video is going to have to do.

So hi there, Captain Hook. There's now a boy on the screen who looks quite curious, and is doing his absolute best to reserve judgement regardless of your reputation.]

You sure sound awfully proper just to ask a question. And you looks different than I 'spected, too.

video

[unhand]

[Hook raises an eyebrow. He's fond children, even ones that clearly intend to ask too many questions, but he still doesn't do much open friendliness. Appearances must be kept up.]

Let me guess: perms and waxed mustaches?

KNOCK KNOCK, GUESS WHO. :'D

[boyhood]

<sub>[This version of Wonderland is certainly no Neverland, but since he's here and been thrust back into old games, Peter keeps an eye on comings and goings as much as he ever did on the island. Knowing what's in store for you is half the battle, the other half knowing what to do about it. As a result, Hook's arrival comes as no surprise in a place where no one's really does.

Peter expects everyone who's ever gotten a whiff of the pirate's rife body ordor will be crowding in to see him; provoking a reunion between himself and his old partner just don't do under those predictable conditions.

No, no, no... why ruin the mystery of whether Pan is indeed in the area and watching closely so soon?

Peter has other ideas in mind besides being obvious, and they begin and end with what Hook might know. What sort of memories is the man carrying about in that little head of his? Where's he come from and what has he been up to? He's a low-hanging fruit, an opportunity to be snatched up. All the better when it can be coupled with a much-anticipated homecoming.

Once Hook has picked his accommodations and settled in for the night, Peter drops by to pay the pirate a visit. This isn't just fun, it's also business, and he doesn't fool around with half-measures--if he's learned anything, it's not to underestimate this group of people. A spell cast over the room ensures that the sleeping man will stay asleep, unaware that anyone was ever there.

Far more generosity than Hook deserves. He should be thanking Wonderland's impressive magic that Peter doesn't kill him right where he lies.

Not yet, though. No, even a duplicitous, love-struck pirate still has his uses. Right now, all Peter wants is a little peek...

When it's over and he's had his fill, the sun is starting to climb in the sky. Hook will awaken from a sleep that seems as natural and restful as one might be capable of after being inexplicably kidnapped to a new world. He won't be alone, however. His old friend Peter Pan has pulled a chair up to the end of his bed and is sitting there with boots propped up on the end corner. On the chair's armrest is a flask, one Peter has pinned upright with his index finger and is spinning in idle circles using his thumb.

Hope Hook didn't feel safe retiring to bed last night.

... Actually, on the contrary, Peter rather hopes he had. It'd make things more entertaining. He'd obviously need to cross paths with Hook eventually, but why not make it a surprise?]</sub>

[unhand]

[Oh my god this is the opposite of what he wanted.

He'd heard Pan was here, of course. Amazing how quick people are to make the association between Captain Hook and Peter Pan. He'd also had a few accusations of being someone who tries to kill children, which only goes to show Pan's true reputation hasn't spread. Yet. Hook's not about to hide Pan's nature from the people that might oppose him.

Of course, he still wasn't expecting the bastard to show up in his room.

He hadn't felt safe here. He so rarely feels safe anywhere, and this is a strange new land and he's without his ship. He still visibly starts when he opens his eyes and sees Pan sitting there. He quickly regains his composure and glowers at Pan.]

You. What do you want?