entranceway | three: video » text attachment.

[ a little while ago dean brutally murdered one demon king of hell, crowley, and hurt john blake in the process. before that, he murdered both his best friend and brother, and attacked a whole bunch of people once near and dear to him. today, thankfully, finds him doing something entirely different as dean addresses the network with a lazy smile on his face.

he’s looking way too pleased with himself, beer in hand and leaning against a familiar looking car... ]

This place is kinda morbid, right? Murders and fights and scheming going on left and right— leaves your head spinning even on a good day. So I figure I should try to shake things up a little, and offer something… uh, nicer to the public.

The female public, anyway. Here I’ve attached a collection of potential good times, so if you see your name and wanna have fun — which means get laid, for the less savvy people — then lem’me know. No strings attached, no flowers and chocolates bullshit. I’m easy like that.

[ he is a gift from god. and he promises no one will get murdered. unless they try something stupid. ]

do list: Cami - put that mouth to better use than talking Jo - everyone knows she still wants it Elphie - someone needs to check if shes green all over Evie - time for second or third or whatever base Pepper - gotta be a reason for the name Darcy - wants the lightsaber Emma - can’t remember shit she’s said but is super hot Bela - hot face, bad attitude whats not to dig Not-Jess - set her on fire for a night Charlie - no time to convert Lilith - make her be useful for once Meg - desperate times plan b Snow - needs a little melting Cordelia - whips and chains Natasha - wear the costume thanks Lydia - too young Lily - stranger danger but does the carpet match the drapes That one blonde from the new years party with the accent Maxine - lets mix chemicals pity fucks: cas - yeah right

[ he never did say he hadn’t put down a few notes along with the names. ]

Now if you’re worried ‘cause your pretty little name ain’t on the list, fret not. If you’re easy enough on the eyes and old enough to know what fun is, get in contact.

[ s m i l e! and dean cuts the feed. ]

( ooc: note that some threads in this post might include heavy violence and/or dub-con/non-con type elements! read at your own risk. )

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Why would you assume that I masturbate?

Everyone does Anyone who says they dont is lying

That may be true for humans. I thought we already established that I generally don't have genitals.

[He's been trapped in his vessel for over a year now, but that hasn't made Castiel any more inclined to go poking around down there. His libido is more or less nonexistent.

And if it were to be woken up, it wouldn't be like this.]

Trust me I've definitely noticed how you always lack any balls the moment you really need em

[ ...like, say, when there's a chance to kill a demon. ]

I would call that not stooping to your level.

Whatever gets you through the night buddy but speaking of stooping to my level any preferences on who goes down next?

Why are you doing this?
Is it still because the Blade is telling you to?

The mark is a gift and it works with the blade I can see that now and as an extra perk I get to ruin sam's life while doing what I was meant to kinda poetic huh

It's not only Sam who's being affected.
But you don't care about that, do you?

Nope Caring about others cost me everything before Think I'm done with that for good.

At least until we cure you.

Right That's been going so well for you

Just because it hasn't happened yet doesn't mean it won't at all.

Come on Cas dont make me cut that annoying gung-ho faith out of you.

How does it go?
Been there, done that.

Aren't you hungry for seconds? I'll even let you have a couple of free hits

Do you truly believe I couldn't destroy you at a moment's notice if I wished to?

You can't. we both know why.

I can.
I choose not to. But I told you before not to test me.

Last time I tested you, you died.

There were extenuating circumstances.

Look at you getting better and better about bullshit excuses Wanna see if you have it in you? come find me.

[ if you can. ]

I won't be fooled a third time. At this point indulging you is only going to escalate the situation.

Goodbye, Dean. Good luck with your attempts at courtship.

Thanks Cas I'll let you know if you're needed for cleanup duty

[ he'll quit texting with that. but hey, if nothing else, at least he'll also spare cas any later gross details. ]

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