three: video » text attachment.

[ganking]

[ a little while ago dean brutally murdered one demon king of hell, crowley, and hurt john blake in the process. before that, he murdered both his best friend and brother, and attacked a whole bunch of people once near and dear to him. today, thankfully, finds him doing something entirely different as dean addresses the network with a lazy smile on his face.

he’s looking way too pleased with himself, beer in hand and leaning against a familiar looking car... ]

This place is kinda morbid, right? Murders and fights and scheming going on left and right— leaves your head spinning even on a good day. So I figure I should try to shake things up a little, and offer something… uh, nicer to the public.

The female public, anyway. Here I’ve attached a collection of potential good times, so if you see your name and wanna have fun — which means get laid, for the less savvy people — then lem’me know. No strings attached, no flowers and chocolates bullshit. I’m easy like that.

[ he is a gift from god. and he promises no one will get murdered. unless they try something stupid. ]

do list:

Cami - put that mouth to better use than talking
Jo - everyone knows she still wants it
Elphie - someone needs to check if shes green all over
Evie - time for second or third or whatever base
Pepper - gotta be a reason for the name
Darcy - wants the lightsaber
Emma - can’t remember shit she’s said but is super hot
Bela - hot face, bad attitude whats not to dig
Not-Jess - set her on fire for a night
Charlie - no time to convert
Lilith - make her be useful for once
Meg - desperate times plan b
Snow - needs a little melting
Cordelia - whips and chains
Natasha - wear the costume thanks
Lydia - too young
Lily - stranger danger but does the carpet match the drapes
That one blonde from the new years party with the accent
Maxine - lets mix chemicals

pity fucks:
cas - yeah right

[ he never did say he hadn’t put down a few notes along with the names. ]

Now if you’re worried ‘cause your pretty little name ain’t on the list, fret not. If you’re easy enough on the eyes and old enough to know what fun is, get in contact.

[ s m i l e! and dean cuts the feed. ]


( ooc: note that some threads in this post might include heavy violence and/or dub-con/non-con type elements! read at your own risk. )

Comments

text;

[nascensibility]

[If there is absolutely one thing in this world that Evelyn loathes, it's having her private life - fabricated or not - publicised. She made it very obvious to Will when he let slip on the Network that they had slept* together and she isn't about to let Dean shove his weight around like some kind of Lothario.

Piss off is what she wants to say, but Sam made it very clear that she shouldn't provoke him. Too much.

*Absolutely in the platonic sense at the time, having a nap next to someone isn't a crime thank you very much.]

I can safely assume that "base" is some kind of euphemism.

text;

[ganking]

You know that really is my favorite thing about you
so pretty and smart
nothing gets past you

[ does he mean that? is he being condescending? whoever knows. ]

[Text]

[cursebreaking]

You're a couple years too late, bucko. Preferred you with a little humanity, anyway.

[Text]

[ganking]

I've got plenty of humanity still kicking for me
especially where it really counts
Wanna find out for yourself?

text.

[notready]

Kinda missed your chance. Not interested.

text.

[ganking]

You mean back in your bedroom?
should I come for another visit
I could-- i mean, you were so eager last time.

[lightgunhustler]

Get anywhere near me and I'll pump you so full of iron and holy water you'll wish we never even met.

[ganking]

Harsh, Jo since I figured this could be that last b-day gift I was talking about and all
and arent you a pro at cheating anyway? thought you'd jump at this.

video;

[misstactless]

[ Text response? Oh no. She doesn't want him to misinterpret sarcasm for interest. ]

In your dreams, buddy. And even then? It's a stretch.

video;

[ganking]

[ sorry, cordy, he'll interpret anything any way he wants. ]

You sure? You seemed pretty gung-ho about it back at the party.

[Voice]

[vampdetective]

I'd threaten to break something if you got anywhere near Cordelia, but she's too smart to get fooled by someone like you.

[Cordelia is far, far from the shallow girl she'd been back in Sunnydale, and she definitely knows how to take care of herself.]

All the same? Don't lay a hand on her unless you're prepared to lose it.

[Because when it comes to threats, Angel figures go big or go home.]

[Voice]

[ganking]

Are you sure? She seemed a little dense the last time we talked-- not that I mind. I like 'em like that, no need for brains when you've got a face as pretty as hers. So many things you could do with it, too.

[ mmmmmmm, just thinking about it has him getting all excited. but maybe even more so the idea of getting to fight this guy. ]

And ain't you the dude she wanted-- what was it, stake? Maybe I should help her with that finally, that'd make her jump into bed with me.

text;

[onevice]

[ what on earth ]

Am I missing a joke somewhere in here?

text;

[ganking]

Maybe you should come over and figure out

Video

[first_demon]

So much negativity and sour pusses. Clearly they don't know a good time when they see it.

[She's just pleased to see a Winchester who understands how to have fun! Dean is making a wonderful case for her to jump ship. Not like Sam is offering.]

When and where and how many times?

Video

[ganking]

They don't know how to let go-- it's not like I even threatened anyone with bodily harm. You'd think they all hate sex, or something. [ weird. and honestly, demon or human, dean would have done this sooner or later. ]

Now, my place -- [ though the remainders of the recent event might make that difficult. ] -- and many, many times.

text; anon

[ofletters]

the collective residents of wonderland would like to extend the following:

text;

[ganking]

Someones upset they werent included on the list
or didnt think of it first

[video]

[sheriffwolf]

[Nothing pisses Bigby off more than someone insulting Snow. Or using him to insult Snow. It crawls under his skin and digs at him in a way that nothing else does. Even some stupid little fantasy fuck list is enough to send Bigby on the fast track to losing his shit.

Personally, he likes to do his threats in the flesh but a video chat is the next best thing.]

Say that again about Snow and it will be the last thing you do.

[video]

[ganking]

Say what about her? Oh-- uh, needs a little meltin'. 'Cause she does. She was all rigid and to the point when we talked, but I think I can turn her into butter. [ beat. ] Or at least I'll try.

text;

[cestmagnifique]

[ Does she have any idea what's going on? Nope, not a damn thing. And while Mitsuru may not immediately make the connection to something so lecherous, the reactions of anyone involved--named, presumably--says enough. So she adds her two cents: ]

How despicable.

[ Even strangers be judgin' you, Dean-o. ]

text;

[ganking]

You someone upset they didn't make it on the list?
send me a pic and maybe I'll change that.

vidya ; blonde with an accent from the new years party OH BOY KOL KNOWS WHO THAT IS.

[malefice]

[ There would have been laughter if his sister wasn't on that list. ]

Lay a finger on the blonde with the accent and you will learn what it's like to have your blood cook you from the inside out, mate.

[ TOUCH BEKS AND HE'LL KILL YOU BEFORE NIK CAN. ]

vidya ; SHES HOT OK

[ganking]

I've already felt that, thanks, man. And what's it to you, anyway? Got a thing for the blonde? 'Cause we can fight about it, if you want.

text ;

[unground]

do you know many girls whose face is one color and their breasts another?

[ srsly dean. ]

text ;

[ganking]

No!
But then i dont know a lot of green chicks either
so I gotta make sure
for science.

video »

[forworse]

[ Damon is far too amused. ]

You don't get laid often do you?

[text]

[failedparenting]

it high school he thought he was even hotter. it wasn't as sad as this though

text

[failedparenting]

this is worse than when you were in high school

text

[ganking]

Surprised you remember that far back
what with the neglecting your kids and pity parties for yourself

video

[therapize]

Wow. You know, it's hard to imagine that being at the top of the to-do list for a sadistic demon murderer would actually brighten my day, but it did. So thank you, Dean. You have just broadcast to everyone in Wonderland just how sad, pathetic, and desperate you are. I mean, I've seen some pitiful moves from guys before, but this is just epic.

All that power and all that rage, and you're nothing more a bastard drooling over women you can't have.

video

[ganking]

[ mmmmm ok, but wait-- ]

You still wanna bang, right?

video

[handing]

Because I threatened a bunch of security guards with pepper spray.

I honestly can't imagine what kind of woman would say yes to you after a broadcast like that.

video

[ganking]

I figure there's gotta be a few interestin' chicks in the sea of borin' ones who'll get offended by this. Those are the ones I'm offerin' a good time to.

You in?

[ smile!! ]

Video

[pottershotter]

[Lily might not be dignifying it with a response, but that doesn't mean James is going to just sit and let Dean talk that way about his fiancee. He's too angry for text and when he pops up on screen he's red with rage.]

That's none of your fucking business!

[Dean knows exactly which line he's referring to. James's next words are as much a demand as a warning, and they come low and growled.]

Stay away from Lily.

Video

[ganking]

[ red with rage is a good color on you, james. ]

Is it 'cause you don't know either? You two really are takin' it slow and boring, huh. [ and please, he's not staying away from anyone. especially not with wonder-boy here asking him. ]

[text]

[freewill]

[Castiel should absolutely not answer. Doing so will only give Dean the attention he obviously craves, and that will encourage him to keep up this kind of behavior. On the other hand, there really isn't any stopping it, and at least this way Castiel can get a read on what the demon has been up to lately, given that he's done his best to remain scarce.]

Who is pitying who, exactly?

[Because even a stunted angel can smell the desperation on this.]

[text]

[ganking]

[ looks like the pity-fuck brigade leader has arrived. oh boy. ]

Pretty nuts how quickly you reminded me why youre on the other list
does it get boring being so frumpy boring junkless

When's the last time you got laid anyway?

video » 1/7 sorrynotsorry

[sorryitasedyou]

[Oh... Oh - o-]

De-

video » 2/7

[sorryitasedyou]

[Is she pissed? Not technically... Although something about this doesn't scream joke and it's definitely past the 1st. Is it somewhat flattering that someone finds you attractive after hanging out in sexual moratorium land for about 4 years? Yes.

Is this how that someone should be told? Probably not.]

[voice]

[wickedwest]

[As a general rule of thumb, Zelena doesn't pay attention to Wonderland drama that doesn't involve her. She just doesn't. But this is just so absolutely baffling that she has to respond.]

That's quite the list. Though if that Emma is Emma Swan, well then, you certainly wouldn't be the worst match for her.

[Because this is already ridiculous, so why not make it more so?]

[voice]

[ganking]

You're one of Emma's friends? Or were you hopin' to get in on whatever might happen-- 'cause you know, there's plenty of room.

[ she sounds hot, and that as it happens, is enough for dean. ]

video; private

[meatsack]

[Did Sam tell her not to engage? Sure he did. Did she agree at the time that was probably the wisest course of action at the time? Sure she did. Is all that about to fly out the window?

Sure the hell is.

Her tone is flat, but her expression is just bored with a hint of amusement.]

Because this doesn't just scream desperation. [She glances off to the side as she ashes a cigarette, then takes another drag.] What, couldn't find room on the bathroom wall? Don't tell me you're really this lonely.

video; private

[ganking]

Since when has looking for some fun become such a damn crime? [ he's been getting a whole lot of comments about being desperate, but this is a first for lonely.

it's all water off a duck's back though, and dean makes a for a mean duck. ]

Or are you offended you ain't number one on my booty call list?

video

[unhand]

[Killian is 100% aware that Emma's perfectly capable of fending off unwanted suitors without his help. She fended off him for a while, after all. Emma is tough and capable and that's not gonna stop Killian for a second from turning on his video and glowering into the camera.]

You bloody stay away from Emma. She's spoken for.

video

[ganking]

You know, I was wonderin' if her mystery man was gonna ride on in for her defense. [ dean looks way too amused. ] And here you are-- a little late though, don'cha think? Could've filled that pretty head of hers with all sorts of dirty promises already.

[intelligently]

Well that saves me having to say no.

[ganking]

Give it a couple years kiddo
youve got the looks to be a real killer in bed

voice;

[onsilksheets]

A few years ago I would have made good on that angry sex, but now I'm not so sure.

[Because she knows he's a demon and well, she'd rather not be killed for a third time. Second time by another Dean as well.]

Sorry.

voice;

[ganking]

[ hrmm. ]

Why not? Little birds tell me it's not like you're busy gettin' lucky anywhere else, either. And if you are, it's nothing compared to what I could offer you.