entranceway | video } entry 2

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video } entry 2

[Dipper looks even more frazzled than usual. The stress lines that always surround his eyes are more pronounced than usual.]

So, you might have noticed a really strange transmission that went through? That... that's from my world. His name's Bill Cipher. He looks like a surprisingly well dressed triangle, and he's... some kind of demon, I guess. He can get into your head and mess with your dreams and just be creepy.

[He leans in closer to the camera.]

Whatever you do, don't trust him. Really, it's probably best to run as far away as you can if you see him. And let me know if he somehow gets into your head. I've gotten him out before, I can do it again.

[He sits back a bit.]

...that's about it. Any questions?

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Oh yeah, definitely. I was a zillionaire before everything fell apart.

[That's not even an exaggeration. A zillionaire is a thing you can actually be in his world.]

...you do know a zillion's not a real number, right? [It is a word that's actually used, but after thneeds and biggering, he feels the need to point it out.]

Uhh. Have you never used a dictionary before? It's obviously a real number.

[What a weird, vocabulary-challenged child.]

How many zeroes does it have?

A jillion.

Also not a real number. You can't just add any letter to "illion" and have it be an actual number. There are prefixes that mean things.

They're definitely real numbers. Besides you're like, five. Can you even count that high?

I'm twelve, and it's pretty obvious I know more about math than you do. [He rolls his eyes.] If you're looking for a real high number, tell people you're a googolplexonaire. Those don't exist either since there's not that much money in the world, but you know. It's an actual number.

Yeah, but no one knows what that is, and it sounds dumb in a conversation. Call someone a zillionaire and they know exactly what you're talking about - a really, really rich person.

[He sighs though, and rolls his eyes.] Doesn't matter now anyway. I'm flat broke.

[He deserves to be flat broke to be honest.]

That tends to happen when you're bad at math.

I was rich, kid. I had people for that. Besides, my broke-ness and my mathing have nothing to do with each other anyway.

What, was it because of the running out of trees thing? Because that seems like something simple calculus could have predicted.

[Wow, what a rude child.]

You've got a lot of nerve judging other people's math skills when you apparently can't even handle one triangle.

[That gets an angry scowl.]

Hey, you want me to find his area or perimeter, no problem.

[Except for the part where he changes size.]

That's not gonna make him go away.

Maybe you should get one of those giant novelty erasers and see if that does the trick then.

[It's a little hard to take a warning about a triangle seriously.]

Yeah, erasing something that's intangible, that's definitely gonna work. [Dipper rolls his eyes.] I get the feeling you're not taking this seriously.

Can't imagine where you got that idea. [Dripping with sarcasm, of course.] Look, you have fun with your evil geometry homework or whatever. I think I've humored you enough for one day.

[And then he hangs up, snatching the last word for himself.]

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video } entry 2

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