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[eyething]

[Damon is not happy, and definitely not drunk enough for this. At first, he assumed he'd been hallucinating, on some trip after drinking bad blood. However, he has been roaming Wonderland for hours on this bright and early morning, while everyone else was likely asleep. He’s poked his head in where it doesn’t belong, waiting for the hallucination to fade. Spoilers: it doesn’t. He finally studies the communication device, accepting that this is either one very long dream or he’s actually here. Somehow. He’s on the main floor, pressed up against the marble pillar, staring up at the ceiling. It takes minimal effort to skim through previous entries before he switches to video.]

Question #1, for the masses: How drunk do you have to be for this place to start making sense? Because I’m starting to think this poor, lonely bottle's not gonna cut it. [Damon looks to the bottle in his hand with a little sigh, tapping his fingers on its surface.] Looks like we're not in Kansas anymore, Toto.

[He takes a long drink, swallows, and sends the camera a slow but absolutely charming smirk:]

Question #2: what’s the one thing you wish someone had told you on your first day in the merry old Land of Wonder, but failed to?

[Damon points a finger at the camera with the hand that's still partly wound around the bottle] And go. Best answers get a pony.

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[radiopalkiller]

[ Philip admires his gift horse, which luckily doesn't have much of a mouth to look into anyway, and puts out his smoke. Time for the old ranking then. On a scale from cheerful acceptance to putting a bullet through his head he'd say that's a solid eight. ]

Well, I can't actually talk, so that's the only place it's ever going to be.

[ He raises his glass before taking a drink, and pulls out his comm device before getting to the usual way out. ]

There, or nowhere at all, if you'd rather keep getting text messages. [ A smirk twitches at the corner of his lips. ] Handwritten notes, that's an option too, but just for you, since you got me a prize pony.

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[eyething]

[Damon smirks as he sees Philip admiring the gift horse like he is doing, and he takes another drink from the glass in front of him. There's a moment, a pause at the explanation that he can't actually talk. He seems to pause in deliberation. There's a My Little Pony bag slung over his shoulder with (you guessed it) more ponies inside.]

Not the strangest thing I've heard all day. [It helps that vampires have a thing where they can get into people's heads which is creepier. Namely, when someone's sleeping, they can alter the dreams they're having, and Damon's done this before to others and had it done to him to. This is just a conversation... resounding in his head.]

As sweet as handwritten notes would be, I'd hate for you to get a hand cramp. You've got a brand new pony to take care of. [Damon takes another drink of the glass in front of him.] So did the telepathy come with the whole... [Damon places a hand over his mouth. Because that's kind of useful.]