entranceway | video; open to all

video; open to all

[Damon is not happy, and definitely not drunk enough for this. At first, he assumed he'd been hallucinating, on some trip after drinking bad blood. However, he has been roaming Wonderland for hours on this bright and early morning, while everyone else was likely asleep. He’s poked his head in where it doesn’t belong, waiting for the hallucination to fade. Spoilers: it doesn’t. He finally studies the communication device, accepting that this is either one very long dream or he’s actually here. Somehow. He’s on the main floor, pressed up against the marble pillar, staring up at the ceiling. It takes minimal effort to skim through previous entries before he switches to video.]

Question #1, for the masses: How drunk do you have to be for this place to start making sense? Because I’m starting to think this poor, lonely bottle's not gonna cut it. [Damon looks to the bottle in his hand with a little sigh, tapping his fingers on its surface.] Looks like we're not in Kansas anymore, Toto.

[He takes a long drink, swallows, and sends the camera a slow but absolutely charming smirk:]

Question #2: what’s the one thing you wish someone had told you on your first day in the merry old Land of Wonder, but failed to?

[Damon points a finger at the camera with the hand that's still partly wound around the bottle] And go. Best answers get a pony.

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[ Well, there's a familiar-ish face, at least. In the 'friend of a friend, never spoke, might actually be confusing them with someone else entirely' sort of way. Still, no reason not to help with the introduction. ]

1. Bar's on the fifth floor. Been there for the better part of five years. No noteworthy improvement on comprehension so far.

2. You can get as many free ponies from the closets as you like, anytime.

[ More or less, anyway. ]

1. completely hammered
2. that everyone here is a big fat freaking asshole
now wheres my goddamn pony

I don't think drinking a lot helps, it just gave me a very bad headache when I tried it. You might want to be careful.

[Because the alcohol here is stronger than Jowan's used to and he's not certain if others think that's normal or not and, well, better to be safe, isn't it?]

But I wish someone had told me that sometimes things just... change around here, for no reason. Like there were tunnels that led to the Deep Roads not that long ago and darkspawn everywhere, then people in mirrors... I'm not sure I want to know what might happen next. I wish I'd known about that sooner.

Oh, and the water here. It comes from the walls like magic at whatever temperature you like! That was nicer to discover.

Honestly? I got pretty drunk the first night I was here, and it still doesn't make a lot of sense.

[Good question, though.]

I was new about three weeks ago. And no one told me about the evil twin versions of ourselves that live on the other side of the mirrors. So, there's that.

Cover all your mirrors. If you talk about anything important, break them.

[ WHY DOES THIS PLACE HATE HER SO MUCH ]

1. Pretty fucking hammered, mate. Even then it's questionable.

2. Swim too far out in the ocean and a tentacle monster will eat you.

[ or at the very least apparate your ass into the pool. ]

That this place will never make sense.

( Answering two questions in one. Go self )

[Distinctly unamused tiny glowing figure.] At least you can drink.

As for the rest, I didn't need to be told anything, I looked it up myself.

Edited 2016-06-13 17:56 (UTC)

Doesn't drinking make it harder to think straight?

[Dipper is 12 he has no personal experience but that's what he's heard.]

[Freya is going to completely ignore your questions, Damon in favor of that very interesting ring you have on your finger. She has her priorities totally in order.]

That's quite the ring you have. Family heirloom?

[Just, you know, out of curiosity. She also seems to be sitting in a bar, so if you would like to join her, Damon, feel free to follow the context clues.]

Damon?

[ her voice hitches with disbelief. this is what she gets for going on her morning jog before checking the network. they must have missed each other more than once as damon explored. freshly showered and hair still wet, elena's eyes are round as she looks into the feed. but if it looks like a damon and talks like a damon —

it's a damon. ]

That there is no legitimate form of government and the so-called queen is a sham.

[That makes this kidnapped monarch pretty frustrated because it means there's no one she can diplomacy at until they send her home.]

And inebriation will not aid your comprehension. There are pamphlets that summarize the main details succinctly, though.

I tried lots and lots of caffeine. That didn't help either.

I'm not sure I've been here long enough to help you with the second one. Rain check?

Well considering it's Wonderland, you're gonna wanna skip the booze and go straight to dropping acid. That's both answers, by the way.

[ said with a smile. you're welcome, pretty boy. ]

I got drunk my first day here and things still don't make sense.

As for what I wish I'd been told, I would have actually preferred a little less. I had already been told so much I was getting a headache.

Hey, man, you try to drink that much, you'll get alcohol poisoning. Nothing here makes sense. Including, by the way, that there's another, evil version of you that watches you from behind the mirror.

[Well she'd say speak of the devil, but actual Satan has shown up so the saying's lost some of its punch.

Still, it hasn't been that long since she had a conversation about Damon, and now he's in Wonderland again. That makes four arrivals from their world in recent months, and with a bittersweet curiosity she has to wonder just who they might draw in next.

Cami can't get lost in the what-ifs though. The last time Damon had been in Wonderland, he made a snackbox out of the librarian. Hopefully they can avoid that this time around, but it's hard to say. So far he seems calm, if midway into a dedicated effort to get wasted. The question is, how long that would last.]

If you're looking for some sort of logic to all this, there really isn't enough alcohol. [She should know, especially since she happens to be at the bar just then.] Although given our access to mostly limitless magical closets, I'm sure someone's tried.

[She favors Damon with a tight smile; the last time they had their introduction, he'd warned her against revealing what she knows about vampires so easily, and especially the fact that she takes vervain. But given how many hunters and actual vampire slayers are in Wonderland, not to mention innocent people with steadily beating hearts, Cami really can't risk playing ignorant either.

She does him the favor of ensuring the video's privacy, at least. Cami's always tried to tread a fine line between keeping the secret of the supernatural, and keeping people safe while in Wonderland.]

And my introduction to Wonderland was pretty thorough—although you'll probably want to be told that we keep bloodbags at the bar.

Dude, you're gonna get alcohol poisonin', and it still won't make any d'ast sense.

[ Natasha looks amused as she flicks open a video feed, chin propped in the palm of her hand as she eyes the man in the video screen. Unfamiliar, but most newcomers are to her these days. ]

Answer #1, how drunk you need for the Disney cartoon to make sense? Multiply that by at least ten, and you'll probably have a start on it.

Answer #2, I can't remember my first day here. The second time I had a first day here, that was probably the most important information dropped on my lap. Apparently someone listened to too much Hotel California.

1. A lot. Like in a lot a lot. Lucky for you, we've got an unlimited supply of alcohol.

2. Just because we have an unlimited supply of alcohol doesn't mean you should try and drink it all the first day anyway. But if you still intend to, there's a bar on the fifth floor. We're the unofficial adult welcome center.

After almost three years and more bottles than I can count, I'm still not sure it makes sense, most days.

[Nevermind the fact that Angel can't get drunk-- but this is an arrival he can't let slip by without comment, because he's met Damon before, or at least another version of him. Other vampires that came to Wonderland were always worth keeping an eye on-- perhaps moreso, in Damon's case.]

It would have been nice to know that the entire place would remake itself on the regular-- not just change here and there, but sometimes the mansion and everything in it disappears for days at a time.

[Mostly a problem because it means he loses access to his mini-fridge. :c]

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