video; open to all

[eyething]

[Damon is not happy, and definitely not drunk enough for this. At first, he assumed he'd been hallucinating, on some trip after drinking bad blood. However, he has been roaming Wonderland for hours on this bright and early morning, while everyone else was likely asleep. He’s poked his head in where it doesn’t belong, waiting for the hallucination to fade. Spoilers: it doesn’t. He finally studies the communication device, accepting that this is either one very long dream or he’s actually here. Somehow. He’s on the main floor, pressed up against the marble pillar, staring up at the ceiling. It takes minimal effort to skim through previous entries before he switches to video.]

Question #1, for the masses: How drunk do you have to be for this place to start making sense? Because I’m starting to think this poor, lonely bottle's not gonna cut it. [Damon looks to the bottle in his hand with a little sigh, tapping his fingers on its surface.] Looks like we're not in Kansas anymore, Toto.

[He takes a long drink, swallows, and sends the camera a slow but absolutely charming smirk:]

Question #2: what’s the one thing you wish someone had told you on your first day in the merry old Land of Wonder, but failed to?

[Damon points a finger at the camera with the hand that's still partly wound around the bottle] And go. Best answers get a pony.

Comments

text;

[radiopalkiller]

[ Well, there's a familiar-ish face, at least. In the 'friend of a friend, never spoke, might actually be confusing them with someone else entirely' sort of way. Still, no reason not to help with the introduction. ]

1. Bar's on the fifth floor. Been there for the better part of five years. No noteworthy improvement on comprehension so far.

2. You can get as many free ponies from the closets as you like, anytime.

[ More or less, anyway. ]

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[eyething]

1. You've been in magical Candyland for five years straight? Five. [it's a blip on the radar for a vampire who has lived over a hundred years, but for Elena back in Mystic Falls? That's another story. One week goes by, and it's one near death experience after the next.]

2. The closets hand out ponies. C'mon. Is this just a Thing done with new arrivals? Tell them crazy stuff to see what they'll believe?

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[rosswood]

1. completely hammered
2. that everyone here is a big fat freaking asshole
now wheres my goddamn pony

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[eyething]

1. i've got a lo-o-o-o-o-o-ong way to go.
2. soooooo same as anywhere else? hey, i said best answers. can you tell me something i don't know? then i'll go retrieve your closet pony.

[since he just heard that... is a thing. closets give out ponies.]

[video]

[ttlynotabloodmage]

I don't think drinking a lot helps, it just gave me a very bad headache when I tried it. You might want to be careful.

[Because the alcohol here is stronger than Jowan's used to and he's not certain if others think that's normal or not and, well, better to be safe, isn't it?]

But I wish someone had told me that sometimes things just... change around here, for no reason. Like there were tunnels that led to the Deep Roads not that long ago and darkspawn everywhere, then people in mirrors... I'm not sure I want to know what might happen next. I wish I'd known about that sooner.

Oh, and the water here. It comes from the walls like magic at whatever temperature you like! That was nicer to discover.

[video]

[eyething]

I don't know that you've been drinking correctly if all you get is a headache. That's called a hangover. But drinking a lot has always helped me, I'm highly experienced.

[In the way of drinking and drinks. Clearly, someone needs to show him how to drink so he can enjoy it.]

I only have half an idea of what you're talking about. Deep Roads. Darkspawn? Sounds like something out of a fantasy novel.

[His gaze narrows with a little smirk. He literally watched modern plumbing be invented] ...do you mean showers?

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[blackbirdsing]

Honestly? I got pretty drunk the first night I was here, and it still doesn't make a lot of sense.

[Good question, though.]

I was new about three weeks ago. And no one told me about the evil twin versions of ourselves that live on the other side of the mirrors. So, there's that.

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[eyething]

Well, today I'm putting up the good fight. Sense or no sense.

[He tilts his bottle in her direction with a little smirk]

...wait, evil twin? Tell me more. This might be worth a pony. [Also, Damon literally cannot imagine an evil version of him. What even would that look like...]

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[goeth]

Cover all your mirrors. If you talk about anything important, break them.

[ WHY DOES THIS PLACE HATE HER SO MUCH ]

aggressively videos!!!!!!

[eyething]

Bonnie?

What the hell? [IS HE REALLY GETTING THE TEXT TREATMENT FROM YOU. he'll remember the mirror comment for later] Look I know we're not the best of friends, but showing up in Narnia without any warning and no idea how to get back to Elena is something that would interest us both.

Don't you think?

[suicidemission]

1. Pretty fucking hammered, mate. Even then it's questionable.

2. Swim too far out in the ocean and a tentacle monster will eat you.

[ or at the very least apparate your ass into the pool. ]

[eyething]

1. I've got a ways to go. Bottom's up.

2. tentacle monster? Can't say I remember the Kraken in Alice's Adventures in Wonderland. The author of this kooky story must be taking some creative liberties.

voice.

[intelligently]

That this place will never make sense.

( Answering two questions in one. Go self )

voice.

[eyething]

But how drunk have you been here? Maybe you just didn't reach the level of alcohol required.

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[memory_unlocked]

[Distinctly unamused tiny glowing figure.] At least you can drink.

As for the rest, I didn't need to be told anything, I looked it up myself.

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[eyething]

What the hell are you?

[Tact is not Damon's strong suit.] You looked up everything there is to know here ever? Nothing at all would surprise you when it comes to Neverland?

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[krmvgivv]

Doesn't drinking make it harder to think straight?

[Dipper is 12 he has no personal experience but that's what he's heard.]

video; crying i apologize

[eyething]

Exactly. You're like what? 9? So you wouldn't get it. [Damon downs his drink, wondering if maybe Dipper is not the protaganist of this weird children's story he's found himself in.]

If you don't think so straight, you don't really care about logic anymore. Makes accepting whatever so much easier.

video, to end }

[deathlessness]

[Freya is going to completely ignore your questions, Damon in favor of that very interesting ring you have on your finger. She has her priorities totally in order.]

That's quite the ring you have. Family heirloom?

[Just, you know, out of curiosity. She also seems to be sitting in a bar, so if you would like to join her, Damon, feel free to follow the context clues.]

[eyething]

[Damon tilts his head to the side as he looks at her, narrowing his gaze at exactly what she notices. He sees the bar, and he knows where the bar is located now so he'll saunter that way. (Yes, saunter).]

It's been in the family for a very long time. Keen eyes, you've got there.

video.

[interpersonal]

Damon?

[ her voice hitches with disbelief. this is what she gets for going on her morning jog before checking the network. they must have missed each other more than once as damon explored. freshly showered and hair still wet, elena's eyes are round as she looks into the feed. but if it looks like a damon and talks like a damon —

it's a damon. ]

video.

[eyething]

[damon has found out at this point that elena is here, and he's nearly torn up the whole mansion looking for her. his communication device is half forgotten in his pocket, and it's only her voice that finally reaches through him as he tears through the mansion like a tornado

and the only words to escape him since he was totally not unnecessarily panicked and in great desperation to find her.

nope. damon is always calm and rational, but beyond the well of relief which floods through him to find out she's okay, there's still that intensity that led him all over wonderland.]

ELENA GILBERT.

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[monosaccharide]

That there is no legitimate form of government and the so-called queen is a sham.

[That makes this kidnapped monarch pretty frustrated because it means there's no one she can diplomacy at until they send her home.]

And inebriation will not aid your comprehension. There are pamphlets that summarize the main details succinctly, though.

video;

[eyething]

....you're very pink.

[Damon tilts the bottle in his hand as he looks at it like maybe it is somehow laced with hallucinogens.

He was joking calling this place Candyland before, but. MAYBE???]

video;

[graphis]

I tried lots and lots of caffeine. That didn't help either.

I'm not sure I've been here long enough to help you with the second one. Rain check?

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[eyething]

Well, no. Caffeine will hype you up. Make you super aware. This is one of those times when it's better to be a little bit numb.

Sure. Just remember there's a pony hanging in the balance. How long've you been around?

video

[sponsored]

Well considering it's Wonderland, you're gonna wanna skip the booze and go straight to dropping acid. That's both answers, by the way.

[ said with a smile. you're welcome, pretty boy. ]

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[eyething]

And let me guess, I can get acid from the closets. Just like I can get ponies.

[joy. it's said with a slow smirk though as he looks at her. speaking of pretty...]

Video

[was_a_hunter]

I got drunk my first day here and things still don't make sense.

As for what I wish I'd been told, I would have actually preferred a little less. I had already been told so much I was getting a headache.

Video

[eyething]

Maybe it's more about staying in a more constant state of drunkenness. Alcoholism, here we come.

So you prefer to be in a state of ignorance. I can appreciate that.

video;

[howkickassiam]

Hey, man, you try to drink that much, you'll get alcohol poisoning. Nothing here makes sense. Including, by the way, that there's another, evil version of you that watches you from behind the mirror.

video;

[eyething]

Don't worry. I'm highly experienced. [Also, pretty much immune to alcohol poisoning but details. Who needs 'em?] ...an evil version of me. [Well.] So you've met your evil twin in that case? What'd he do?

video, private!

[therapize]

[Well she'd say speak of the devil, but actual Satan has shown up so the saying's lost some of its punch.

Still, it hasn't been that long since she had a conversation about Damon, and now he's in Wonderland again. That makes four arrivals from their world in recent months, and with a bittersweet curiosity she has to wonder just who they might draw in next.

Cami can't get lost in the what-ifs though. The last time Damon had been in Wonderland, he made a snackbox out of the librarian. Hopefully they can avoid that this time around, but it's hard to say. So far he seems calm, if midway into a dedicated effort to get wasted. The question is, how long that would last.]

If you're looking for some sort of logic to all this, there really isn't enough alcohol. [She should know, especially since she happens to be at the bar just then.] Although given our access to mostly limitless magical closets, I'm sure someone's tried.

[She favors Damon with a tight smile; the last time they had their introduction, he'd warned her against revealing what she knows about vampires so easily, and especially the fact that she takes vervain. But given how many hunters and actual vampire slayers are in Wonderland, not to mention innocent people with steadily beating hearts, Cami really can't risk playing ignorant either.

She does him the favor of ensuring the video's privacy, at least. Cami's always tried to tread a fine line between keeping the secret of the supernatural, and keeping people safe while in Wonderland.]

And my introduction to Wonderland was pretty thorough—although you'll probably want to be told that we keep bloodbags at the bar.

video; private

[eyething]

[Damon's gaze narrows immediately. It's primarily because he doesn't recognize her and somehow she knows that big, old evil secret of his. He doesn't trust people, and he certainly doesn't trust a stranger. At this point, he's found Elena, and Elena has left her room to talk to Bonnie, but Damon's chilling on her bed with a teddy bear in his arms. Also, there's a bunch of ponies, but they are not within the shot itself. Just lined out on the bed as he tries to figure out how to get rid of them.

He doesn't recognize her, but she somehow knows who he is and what he is.

His gaze drifts over her though his face doesn't reveal very much. Another family member of Klaus'? He doesn't know. He needs to catch up with Elena fully in what she knows about people here and how this all works, but for now he sets the teddy bear aside and leans forward to examine her.]

I got a blood bag out of the closet along with an army of ponies, but good to know. My two favorite beverages in the same place. [His voice has lost some of that charm. It's clear he's wary]

...How did you know?

voice;

[beatupgrass]

Dude, you're gonna get alcohol poisonin', and it still won't make any d'ast sense.

voice;

[eyething]

Why is everyone so concerned with my getting alcohol poisoning? Is this place filled with good Samaritans waiting in the wings to save people from their own bad choices?

[ Video ]

[widows_kiss]

[ Natasha looks amused as she flicks open a video feed, chin propped in the palm of her hand as she eyes the man in the video screen. Unfamiliar, but most newcomers are to her these days. ]

Answer #1, how drunk you need for the Disney cartoon to make sense? Multiply that by at least ten, and you'll probably have a start on it.

Answer #2, I can't remember my first day here. The second time I had a first day here, that was probably the most important information dropped on my lap. Apparently someone listened to too much Hotel California.

[ Video ]

[eyething]

But here's the thing, I can be completely sober and understand a Disney cartoon with perfect clarity. That's not a good level for me.

[Also, it's scary that a serial killer has such perfect understanding of a disney film tbqh]

Why can't you remember your first day here? Too drunk, too high? So basically I listen to that song, I know all I need to know. Well, this has been informative.

[ Text ]

[luckynumberthree]

1. A lot. Like in a lot a lot. Lucky for you, we've got an unlimited supply of alcohol.

2. Just because we have an unlimited supply of alcohol doesn't mean you should try and drink it all the first day anyway. But if you still intend to, there's a bar on the fifth floor. We're the unofficial adult welcome center.

Re: [ Text ]

[eyething]

1. I am the luckiest. It's true.

2. I'll head in that direction. I'm eager to try to down it all in my first day. Toto's almost empty here. I'm gonna need more.

[Video]

[vampdetective]

After almost three years and more bottles than I can count, I'm still not sure it makes sense, most days.

[Nevermind the fact that Angel can't get drunk-- but this is an arrival he can't let slip by without comment, because he's met Damon before, or at least another version of him. Other vampires that came to Wonderland were always worth keeping an eye on-- perhaps moreso, in Damon's case.]

It would have been nice to know that the entire place would remake itself on the regular-- not just change here and there, but sometimes the mansion and everything in it disappears for days at a time.

[Mostly a problem because it means he loses access to his mini-fridge. :c]

[Video]

[eyething]

[This definitely seems like a place where sense is impossible. Damon takes a long drink from his glass as he listens, remembers.]

...that is useful to know. Congratulations, you get a pony.

So the magic in charge of this place is powerful enough to change it back and forth like that?

[Damon does not think there's a witch out there who is powerful enough to do something like that, but what other explanation is there other than magic? He has never heard of anything like this before, and as much as he'd like to pretend he's hallucinating this all (because that at least has some logic to it), he can't.

this is real.]