video; open to all

[eyething]

[Damon is not happy, and definitely not drunk enough for this. At first, he assumed he'd been hallucinating, on some trip after drinking bad blood. However, he has been roaming Wonderland for hours on this bright and early morning, while everyone else was likely asleep. He’s poked his head in where it doesn’t belong, waiting for the hallucination to fade. Spoilers: it doesn’t. He finally studies the communication device, accepting that this is either one very long dream or he’s actually here. Somehow. He’s on the main floor, pressed up against the marble pillar, staring up at the ceiling. It takes minimal effort to skim through previous entries before he switches to video.]

Question #1, for the masses: How drunk do you have to be for this place to start making sense? Because I’m starting to think this poor, lonely bottle's not gonna cut it. [Damon looks to the bottle in his hand with a little sigh, tapping his fingers on its surface.] Looks like we're not in Kansas anymore, Toto.

[He takes a long drink, swallows, and sends the camera a slow but absolutely charming smirk:]

Question #2: what’s the one thing you wish someone had told you on your first day in the merry old Land of Wonder, but failed to?

[Damon points a finger at the camera with the hand that's still partly wound around the bottle] And go. Best answers get a pony.

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Welcome to Wonderland, Damon.

[ it's only a little sarcastic. ]

I'm Faith. You get a tour, yet?

[eyething]

I have never felt more welcomed before in my life.

[equally sarcastic.]

No. I'm afraid no one's taken the time to properly show me around yet. I'm feeling left out, Faith. [truly heartbroken here]

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[ hmmm ]

Yeah, sorry but I'm definitely not a good host when it comes to all this stuff. Unless you're looking for places to cut away for a smoke or feel like learning how to take your stress out on a dummy.

[eyething]

But see... that is actually exactly what I'd be looking for so you'd be the perfect tour-giver for the things I actually give a shit about, and I'm not into all that 'welcoming' tour bullshit anyway. I want it right to the damn point, and you seem like the type.

[who cuts through all the bullshit]

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Yeah, all right. Meet me on the roof.

[ oh shit wait-- ]

But you bring that damn pony and you're gonna regret it.

[action]

[eyething]

[damon doesn't actually listen to what people tell him to do most of the time. besides he's curious as to how exactly she's going to make him regret it. he's up on the roof with a fresh bottle of booze. if he can get ponies from the closet, his very next task was to get a bottle of booze from the closet too.

he has the pony. it's set out beside him on the edge of the roof as he takes a drink from the bottle of bourbon. once he hears faith open the door to the roof, he doesn't turn but he does speak to the pony.]

You want a drink too, Twilight Sparkle? Who am I to say no to such soulless eyes? [he doesn't know the ponies names so he's just making that shit up, but he tilts the bottle in its direction before he turns towards faith with a cocky little smirk.] How about you?

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[ ok how'd he get up here before her? too bad the pony distracts faith from that train of thought. she closes the door behind her, hip jutted and necked rolled in immediate response to the plastic declaration of war. her eyes remain on damon as she approaches.

with one hand, she very nimbly takes the bottle. with the other, twilight sparkle gets flicked off of the parapet. maybe down into the stables with her own personal closet reject... ]

This one's mine, now. Hope you brought a spare.

[ while faith makes herself comfortable in twilight's spot, she glug glugs away. ]

[eyething]

[damon leans back against the wall on the roof, tilting his head to the side as she picks up the bottle from him.]

Nope. We're sharing or you're going back down for another bottle. This one's mine.

[he'll just nimbly take the bottle back from her after one of those glugs to take a drink from it himself, a deep drink from it]

Besides you're supposed to be tour-guiding.

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[ siiiigh. jerk.

faith waves in completely random directions as she does her best impersonation of a bubbly tour guide: ]

For the horseback enthusiast and rooster aficionado, the stables are that way, and the pool's on floor something or other. We've got the finest most creepy-ass dining rooms and all you can drink booze, but somehow are in need of an actual bar so everyone can mope and drown their woes together.

[ hang on let her flip her hair, too. ah, yes. image sold! ]

[eyething]

[damon lifts an eyebrow at the impression. a slow smirk tugging across his face as he leans back against the ceiling.]

So you can do the bubbly, friendly tour guide impersonation, huh?

Just what I've always needed to know about cocks and horses, creepy ass dining rooms, and alcohol.

I drink anywhere, restaurants, bars, my room. Some people just put themselves in a box, a bar box. [he will mope and drown his woes any where he pleases]

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[ faith shrugs before snatching the booze back-- chugga chugga chugga ]

Bursting your bubble but this whole damn place is a box. [ omg such philosophy ] But I get you, yeah. People got this thing about banding together anywhere you go, though.

[ says the superficial loner who pretends to be everyone's friend... ]