[video]

[petabytes]

He... hello...? Is anyone there...?

[The words are spoken laboriously, obviously only making it out of their host after fighting through several layers of nerves and a gate of chattering teeth. The video feed shows a small, disheveled figure, caked with sand and struggling to keep herself under control.]

I’m... I’m sorry if I am intruding, but... I don’t know where I am. Th-there’s a network here, and I didn’t think it was restricted, but... if it is, I’m sorry... I didn’t see anywhere else to go...

Are any of the other students here...? Was I allowed to leave? I don’t remember how I got here... I’m so confused, I don’t think I can take it...

[She takes a moment to regain her composure, brushing a few grains of sand out of her feathered hair. It seems she was unfortunate enough to have washed up on the beach, and hasn’t had a chance to clean herself off. From what’s visible in the feed, it looks like she’s just entered the mansion and collapsed against the nearest wall.]

I didn’t want to come much closer just in case I wasn’t allowed inside, but... it’s so cold out there, I had to take shelter... Is anyone there...? Can... can I please stay inside? I’m so sorry....

-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling entranceWay [EW] --

[forevercapslock]

OKAY, I KNOW THIS IS COMPLETELY POINTLESS. THIS TYPING UP SHIT FOR PEOPLE TO SEE THING, I MEAN. MEMOS NEVER WORKED OUT FOR ME BEFORE, EXCEPT TO MAKE ME ARGUE WITH MYSELF ACROSS SPANS OF TEN OR FIFTEEN MINUTES IN SOME SORT OF TEMPORAL CIRCLE-JERK THAT ONLY EVER MADE ME LOOK LIKE A HUGE BULGE-SCRATCHING TOOL WHO HAS NO ONE BUT OTHER ITERATIONS OF HIMSELF TO TALK TO.
BUT I GUESS THAT'S BASICALLY WHAT I AM ANYWAY? SINCE NO ONE IS ACTUALLY READING THIS, IT'S FAIR TO SAY THAT DESPITE THE TEMPORAL LIMITATIONS OF THIS NEANDERTHAL CHAT CLIENT, I'M REALLY JUST TYPING THIS FOR MY OWN BENEFIT SO THAT I DON'T SIT HERE STARING AT A BLANK SCREEN, SCREAMING AND SCREAMING AND FUCKING SCREAMING SOME MORE UNTIL SOMETHING RUPTURES.
ANYWAY, THERE IS ACTUALLY A POINT TO THIS POINTLESS MEMO AND I'M FINALLY GETTING TO THAT. IF YOU ACTUALLY READ ALL OF THIS, HERE IT IS: THE POINT.
I AM GOING TO COME TO YOUR RESPITEBLOCK IN THE DEAD OF NIGHT
I AM GOING TO STAND NEXT TO YOUR HUMAN BED WHILE YOU SLEEP
AND I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE FUCKING FACE, EGBERT.










WHY AM I SURPRISED THAT THERE IS NO FUTURE ME CHIMING IN HERE TO TELL ME TO SHUT MY SEED FLAPS? HOW AM I GOING TO KNOW WHEN TO STOP SHOVING MY FOOT DOWN MY OWN WINDTUBE WITHOUT FUTURE ME TO TEXT-WALL ME INTO CONFUSED RAGE UNTIL I BECOME HIM AND COMPLETE THE LOOP BY SCREAMING AT PAST ME?
FUCK, I ACTUALLY MISS FUTURE ME.
YOU'VE DONE IT, UNIVERSE.
YOU'VE WON.

[text forever]

[hamburellakind]

i think something made me hurt people last event.
and i'm really sorry for that.
that's about all i can say, i guess.
um.
bye.

[Video]

[righteously]

 [The subject that appears on screen looks like something straight out of a horror flick. He's covered in blood, covered in mud and muck, and he stares grimly into the viewfinder like he might actually murder the camera itself.]

Alright, I'm not even gonna ask what's up with the smart phone, because frankly? I don't care.

[Being reverse pick-pocketed by the apple store is the least of his problems.]

How do I get to the highway?

[He could explain that he's got a brother to find, that he's circled this place for four goddamn hours and found nothing but wall, that he's running on empty and exhausted and that he's had to stop himself no less than six times to keep from jumping some idiot civilian because he's still on edge, but frankly, it's nobody's business. Instead, he barks out his question, stares at the camera, and then switches it off.]