Test 01 [Accidental Video/Action]

[literalidiotball]

[The feed flickers to life, showing the back of the mansion. A branch blocks the view, giving the impression that the device is stuck in a tree. A couple of odd things are easily noticable about this video. Firstly, the lens seems to be cracked in half, splitting the image into two, slightly misaligned halves. Secondly, there's a small watermark in the corner that wouldn't be out of place on a youtube video. Third, although nobody is actually in the video, a man's voice is stammering in some sort of English accent.]

-how I could have even gotten here. Really, I should have been in a million pieces by now, just from the impact. Possibly also on fire. You know, from entering the Earth's atmosphere at terminal velocity.

[Two metal lids close in front of the camera for a second as it quickly pans back and forth like it was shaking its head.] No, it's probably a good thing I didn't get smashed. I've already been damaged enough...

Hang on, what's this thing doing?

"Streaming to Network?!" What network? I don't remember installing this software!

[The camera pans about frantically. It should be obvious by now we're looking at the world through the eye of a panicking robot.] Oh god! Someone hacked into me! What do I do? What do I do?

Wait, maybe the hackers can help me. [He calms down and clears his simulated throat.] Hello. As you can probably tell, I'm stuck in a tree of some sort. If you could please get me down, I would really appreciate it.

[If anyone wants to rescue poor Wheatley or perhaps stumble upon him by chance, he'll be in one of the trees in the orchards. You can't miss him: he's a spherical robot the size of a large beach ball, equipped with moving handles and a bright, blue optic.]

[ooc: Feel free to threadjack this post.]

video;

[saunteredvaguelydownwards]

Is this thing-- Oh. It's on.

[Tap tap. It looks enough like a smartphone to be reasonably used as a smartphone, and Crowley has no issue at all with using smartphones.]

That's a bit cliché, isn't it? A mysterious device appears in your pocket full of little buzzing voices and the first thing you do is use it? Of course you do. Never mind how many horror movies you've seen.

[The person talking into the video while casually strolling outside is a handsome young man in dark sunglasses, with fantastic cheekbones and dark hair that the breeze is currently playing around his forehead. He's slightly pale, though all in all his complexion is somewhat indeterminate.]

If someone could point me in the direction of the Lon­don Orbital and a car rental shop, I'd be much obliged.

[The levity is quite smoothly hiding the fact that he is already very aware that he can't get out of here - he's tried, it just gave him a headache - and he is very, very concerned about that.]

Mission #011 [Action/Video]

[voiceinthedark]

Sam wakes up on the beach and stares up at the sky. Clear endless blue. The last time he’d been at the beach, everyone had nearly drowned and the Minister had taken over Abel. It had not been the best day. This beach though, this is not some dreary English beach complete with creepy Viking zombies. It’s soft sand and clear sky and… he frowns and rolls over and squints into the distance.

The mansion is there and suddenly it all comes flooding back.

It’s weird to be back in Wonderland again. After everything that has happened at home, it’s been a long time, but at the same time, not very long at all. Suddenly he feels incredibly out of place. He remembers talking to Billy about being a different person to the one he’d been at home, but now it’s different, the other way around. He’s not the same person he had been when he’d last been in Wonderland. That had been, what? A year ago? Longer even.

He pushes himself up to his feet. It’s a painful movement. Everything is painful right now. He’s covered in blood and bruises and cuts where Ian had hurt him. He stares at the mansion for a moment before heading towards it, stopping every few moments to rest. The Ministry had not been kind to him. Ian had been worse.

Figures that Wonderland would dump him there instead of in his bed.

Oh god, he can sleep on a real bed again!

--------

[Sam appears on the screen. He is, to put it honestly, a mess, covered in bruises and cuts and burns that look too neat to be accidental. He gives the screen a somewhat wry look.]

This is getting to be a bit of a habit isn’t it? I vanish and come back a week or two later looking a right mess. Why can I never return after a restful night’s sleep and a calm day?

Oh wait. Apocalypse, yeah. That’s a thing that’s still going on.

So uh… Hi. [He gives a little wave, looking a bit awkward.] Sorry for vanishing again. Not like I get much choice in the matter but uh… Sorry anyway. Don’t like to worry people.

I’m fine. Mostly. It’s good to be back. What's trying to kill us this week?