airplanecups: (pic#3493093)
[personal profile] airplanecups
[today on channel Wonderland: Finn Hudson eating his body weight in food.

when the screen flickers on, a (rapidly expanding) teenage boy seems to be in the process of fitting an entire McGangbang into his mouth while nursing a half-eaten Double Down on his knee. empty bags of Cheetos and Doritos and flavoured crisps litter the duvet, remnants crushed into the fabric, boxes of Sour Patch Kids seem to make a pillow at the end of the bed, and there's smears of mustard and mayonnaise over the walls and Finn's mouth and nose.

honestly, it's all a bit revolting.]


Jul. 13th, 2012 11:38 pm
was_a_soldier: (sincerity at it's finest)
[personal profile] was_a_soldier
Sorry, this is so overdue, I was dealing with an... incident.

[If anyone notices him brushing his fingers against his neck absently, pay that no mind... he's just remembering where his neck was slashed open.

He clears his throat awkwardly, drops his hand and continues, expression growing concerned.]

...In any case, I'm looking for a young boy named Conan. He was injured quite badly the other day and I was... interrupted while treating him.

Has anyone seen or talked to him? Is he alright?

I owe him an apology.
itsahotone: (when you're not in bed)
[personal profile] itsahotone
[The down time between events is always both a relief and a bore. It's times like this Santana misses Puck most, because he would usually have some ideas of how to make things more interesting.

...Not that she would even take him up on the usual idea of sex, anyway. She's past that.

Which brings the narration to just why Santana has been less bored and more content for the past months. She's actually even been a little less bitchy to people! (In her opinion, anyway. Shut up.) Brittany's influence has always been good for her.

Anyway. Brittany's off doing who knows what, so Santana's relaxing in her room with a magazine. Oh, and she's kind of not wearing much. What? She just showered! Her towel is right next to her and everything. So there.

Besides, you're the perve for looking at her right now anyway.]


Jul. 5th, 2012 08:01 pm
not_a_hero: (On the case)
[personal profile] not_a_hero
There is a murderer on the loose.

Please remain in the safety of your rooms or with a companion if you must venture out so long as the companion is assuredly not the aforementioned murder. Possible suspects include one James Moriarty for those to whom that has any significance.

John, a word. Now.


Jun. 30th, 2012 09:34 pm
thisisherson: We Are Golden - Mika (Maybe losing my mind)
[personal profile] thisisherson
[Kurt appears on the screen, looking more than a little confused. He's in the library, which is where the Fawn has been hanging out today, but he hasn't actually met the creature. But being in the library is enough. He's been there uh. ...Well, a while now. Maybe an hour?]

I came in here to do...something. But I can't remember what.

[He looks down at the table he was working at, and he's got a book on flowers, opened up to Larkspurs. But, they're just part of the garden, right? Nothing weird about that. No, that can't be it.]

...I don't know. But it's actually kind of nice in here.

[He sounds a little out of it, but he seems oddly comfortable with his head in the clouds today. Eventually something catches his eye and he just sort of wanders off camera, leaving it running.]


Jun. 30th, 2012 02:57 pm
thneedifestdestiny: No One Knows I'm Gone - Tom Waits (The sky is falling down)
[personal profile] thneedifestdestiny
[The Once-ler had gone outside to investigate where ever this unruly garden...thing had come from, with the intention of chopping some of it away. Can you blame him? It was coming into his room and he's on like, the tenth floor! That's just ridiculous. Cutting them away from his windows didn't work, so he went outside with an ax to put a stop to this.

But, instead he wound up having a lengthy chat with some violets. They were absolutely charming and delightful! The Once-ler never imagined nature could be so witty! But, eventually he bids them adieu, and decides to head back inside.

Except, he can't. He hadn't even noticed until he got back to the mansion, but he's tall enough now to see into the second floor windows.

What the...

[He taps the glass and WOAH WAIT HIS HANDS ARE HUGE. At least as wide across as the window itself. He shrieks and staggers back.]

Oh my god. I-I'm a giant! How did that even...what?!

[Frantic, he drops down to his knees and pushes open the door. But, even though he can fit his head through (if he tries), his shoulders are too wide. He's trying any combination he can think of - head first, feet first, arm first - but he's far too tall to enter the mansion.

But, that's not going to stop him from stupidly trying anyway.
airplanecups: (pic#3515578)
[personal profile] airplanecups
[the video feed flicks on. see: one very sulky looking teenager.]

...Did anyone else lose their chicken?
dashboardlite: (Keep it classy.)
[personal profile] dashboardlite
[Step right up, girls and boys, to the class that very well may be the best class in the entire school. Now, let’s not play coy. Everyone knows that the practical skills in this particular course can be applied to every aspect of your daily life. Who knows? You might meet a Hinkypunk on your next woodland hike!

Your illustrious professor - Winchester, Dean Winchester - and Head of Gryffindor House stands before you, twirling a long cypress wand between his fingers, chewing a piece of Droobles Best Blowing Gum.

What poise! you declare, what attitude!

But bloody Hell he’s so cool works just as well as he pops a bubble the size of your head.

All right, lissen up!

[With a lazy wave of his wand, his gum disappears and the classroom door shuts. Dean straightens.]

We got one heckuva day ahead of us, so let’s get started.

cue Yackety Sax )
airplanecups: (pic#3515574)
[personal profile] airplanecups
[witness one (1) Finn Hudson, batting at a leather bound book with his broomstick. the book seems unperturbed, however, as it in turn latches onto the end of the broomstick with its... teeth?]

If anyone knows how to reverse the "Inanimatus Conjurus" spell, that'd be really freakin' sweet.

thestormcomes: (boldness stands alone)
[personal profile] thestormcomes
[Newcomers to the subject will find Professor La Fère standing stoically at the front of the classroom, wand (pine, phoenix feather, 10", and unsurprisingly unyielding for those of you who care) on the desk beside him. An owl lurks in the corner of the room, still slightly ruffled from Professor Buckingham's charms.]

As you are all undoubtedly aware by now, Arithmancy is most often used to predict the future, but it should not be mistaken for anything remotely similar to the study of Divination. We work with numbers, we do not gaze senselessly into the crystal ball, and unless you were born a skilled Seer there is no point in attempting to scry the results of your O.W.L.s.

[He was a student once. He knows how it is.]

You will be working from three books this semester: L. Wakefield's Numerology, M. Carneiro's Grammatica, and Vector's New Theory of Numerology. Reading is required, not suggested. You will complete seven essays and take three tests including your O.W.L., which is cumulative. We build from the ground up, and the first chapters of each book are just as relevant and important as the last. For the time being, wands away.

[Because Olivier is feeling especially generous today (or rather, he's a bit worn out from wrestling his owl away from another professor), all levels of Arithmancy, from beginners to advanced, get to have a little more fun than usual.]

You want fun? Numbers are fun. )
airshipswank: (dressed for a funeral | walking shadow)
[personal profile] airshipswank
[ Good morning, darling seventh year students! Remember when Charms was a harmless subject with a lovable old professor and a slim to none chance of suffering emotional or physical trauma? No? Excellent.

Today each of you will find a candle sitting on the desk in front of them. Don't worry, unlike last time it will not grow teeth and attack you on sight. So sit down, get comfortable and listen to the task at hand!

Now, given the dreadful quality of your memory charms last week I trust that at least none of you will have any trouble recalling... the freezing charms you were taught in your third year. Today-

[ He snaps his fingers, lighting all the candles in the room at once. ]

-you will freeze the small flame in front of you.

[ He allows for a dramatic pause and for his students to wonder what place child's play like that has in a seventh year class. ]

Of course there... is a catch. Not only do I expect your actual incantation to be silent, no, I... should also like you to move your wand and lips as if you were conjuring fire. Allow me to demonstrate.

[ Professor Buckingham draws his wand (Dogwood, dragon heartstring, 15¾”, rather flexible, of course) and aims a flowing motion and a booming Incendio! at the candle on his desk, but instead of flames his wand produces a jet of ice that freezes flame, candle and holder solid.

Cue moment to let the display sink in.

To maintain the appearance of one charm while executing another is the very peak of focus, control and unity between you and... your wand, not to mention quite the edge in a duel.

[ It's also a rather underhanded technique and greatly frowned upon by Professor La Fère... which is all the more reason to teach it passionately and thoroughly!

Buckingham grins broadly and moves to the side of the classroom in strides.

That said, good luck and... do mind the eyebrows, eh?

[ For any ghosts, members of the faculty or students not presently suffering from his class Professor Buckingham will be in his office, grooming his owl. He will also be wandering the hallways often enough, especially to return a little something to a certain Ravenclaw's office. ]

For the curious, everybody else's lesson plan under the cut! )
not_a_hero: (you're late)
[personal profile] not_a_hero
Today we will be making the Wit-Sharpening Potion. Every fourth year learns how but as some of you seem reluctant to use it despite your intellectual shortcomings, we're going to go over it again.

Your ingredients are ground scarab beetle, cut up ginger root, and armadillo bile. Do not forget to grab a mortar and knife when you collect your cauldron. I expect perfect results from fifth, sixth and seventh years and you can depend on losing house points for anything less. First, second and third years may gain points for the correct concoction. Fourth years: shut up.

You should all do your best if only in this one instance. The Wit-Sharpening Potion will make you all the more tolerable to deal with and will certainly improve your time spent in this class.

[Sherlock has set everything out in not the most organized of fashions but it's all there and recognizable. His own desk is a mess of equipment with human eyeballs in a jar and a string of thumbs tacked and hanging like Christmas tinsel.

When he isn't sat at his desk, doing more or less something completely different from what he's assigned, he's walking up and down to make sure everyone's on task. He might twirl just a bit on his turns and has a habit of dashing about and ignoring personal space bubbles.]
[personal profile] insidethechimney
[It's Divination time and the classroom - if an attic room, heavy with an eclectic mix of incense smoke (cinnamon bun, buttercream and vanilla) and filled with beanbags could really be called that - is a little noisier than usual. There's a clucking sound not often associated with schoolwork. It's coming from the chickens congregated around Professor Pie.]

Isn't it the meaniest mean thing that people cut up these sweeties for their entrails, just to see if their Quidditch team is going to catch one measly little shiny ball? I mean, it is really shiny. I can see why they want it. But the chickens want stuff too. Like to not be dead.

[She claps her hands together. Yes, she has a point and she's getting to it.]

So! Let's bring Divination into a new century of fantasticness by doing a little research experiment! Everyone's going to take a chicken and a diary. You've got to monitor your chicken - watch how it moves, how loud it is - and record what happens to you at all times. Every little thing could be a pirouette forward in the science of Divination! Next week, we'll gather all the records together and look for any correlation! Remember to keep your chicken with you at all times. I'll know if you don't and you'll lose...say, twenty-seven house points per minute not spent with the chicken.

[OOC: threads for the different year groups will be below! Feel free to ask Professor Pie questions or bond with your new feathery life partner.]
airplanecups: (pic#3493053)
[personal profile] airplanecups
How do you turn this freakin' thing on? Does the blinky red light mean go?

[rustling, before the very shakey face of a gawky teenage boy comes into view ala the Blaire Witch Project.]

Uh, okay, so, could someone maybe tell me why the hell I was in my room like, forty seconds ago, and now I'm in Hyrule Castle? 'Cause I'm pretty sure that's the kind of thing a guy should know.

[tap tap tap.]

And it'd be super sweet if someone could tell me how this thing works, 'cause I've seriously tried it about twenty times now and I'm just hoping that by fifty I'll get to a point where someone actually responds, kind of like that Chuck E. Cheese deal where if you get five hundred tickets you get a BB gun or a huge stuffed animal or--um. Actually, I really hope not, 'cause I think I'd flip after about sixty and just throw it at the wall.


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