[Text]

[hashtagging]

You know what this mansion needs after all these dour "events"? Something fun. Unfortunately, there is no room for an amusement park and apparently the Mansion does not keep up with video game release dates, so we will have to do something a little more low-key.

So, before the next time we all lose our minds and decide to start killing each other, who would like to participate in an evening of speed dating? Yes, before you ask, you can just come looking for friends. I promise not to try and marry anyone off. Probably.

[ Maintenance Operation #7 ]

[squeakyslate]

Looks worse than I remember, reckon it serves the lot of you right.

[ Somewhere, on some floor, at the edge of some window, Bill scurries along the frame and across the glass, the pitter-patter of his little lizard feet fast and angry. Voice harsh like that too, makes for a strange change in the reptile. ]

How're you talking? What's all that then? What're you doing? Get down there, get over here, put down the brush, you can't fix that, you're a lizard!

[ He squints at the window glass. A green blur whizzes across the screen: One moment the sound of cracking glass is heard, and in the next the window's shattered completely, glass raining down the mansion wall.

Bill lifts his lizardly head with a huff, and scales the building up to the next window. ]

Gripes and gripes and gripes all day, that's what I gets for me help, that's the thanks, thanks and ta, Bill, don't want to hear you no more, don't want to see you no more neither, that's the reward! But you'll see, you'll see where you'd be alone, you'll see and you won't like it one bit!

[ Harsh words? Cold words? Drafty words to be sure! For the next hour after this transmission all the windows in the mansion will either be cracked, broken, or completely gone. Once the hour is over they'll regenerate, and everything will return to normal. ]